I planned a few months ago to change my favorite-SG list to "Kennedy/Madison/Monroe/Nixon/Reagan" to commemorate President's Day (get it? get it?!) but, alas, I was too mopey to bother coming on-line. I do need to change it soon, though. I definitely think Arlo deserved the nod...
So; quick thing out of the way: Yes, I called Heather. No, she didn't call back. A few people suggested I call again, but... eh. I can't bring myself to do so. I feel like I should take the hint like a good little boy. Don't think I'm meant to date, anyway.
Did nothing this weekend of import; in fact, it was kind of a lost weekend. Woke up Saturday morning to discover that at some point during the night I'd made food, eaten food, gotten physically ill, watched the Royal Tenenbaums, and then gone back to bed. And- I remembered nothing of it. The "physically ill" part was a charmer; I had to clean a bit when I discovered that little aspect. Anyway- I have no idea what went on; I used to sleepwalk and have night terrors and whatnot when I was a kid, and I wonder if I've begun doing that again.
Hope I liked "The Royal Tenenbaums," since that was the first time I evidently watched it.
Saturday evening was the only time I went outside the house; I actually was in bed from midnight Saturday to 9 pm or so Sunday, 21 hours. Saturday was spent tutoring Rayna for her GED. It's way more difficult than I expected, though she's not as far behind as either of us originally thought... it's just hard for me to switch gears and try to gauge her algebra/rhetorical/grammatical/social science skills and then try to build off from there. It's never occurred to me before how to explain what underlies a "good" essay, or why division and multiplication are really the same operation... and now I have to try to put into words what has always seemed implicit to me. And, frankly, I do wonder if I'm teaching too much- she needs enough to pass, not to prepare for college.
So Rayna and I spent four hours doing that lying on her bed, drinking, talking about the GED stuff, talking about life, loneliness... in the midst of I suddenly realized that I was in the exact position I wished I'd been in 10 years ago... but she'd changed, I'd changed, and I realized that I'd never feel that way again, and it was just melancholy.
A new week with new threats from new people. This time, a new manager at WM has begun cracking down on the known "drug crowd" that works 3rd shift, and over the weekend went to the coworkers with whom I'm friendly to find out what they knew. So, I've come back to discover that the drug crowd has decided that *I* am a "snitch," and that I (exact quote here) "brainwashed my friends into hating" them. First I learned about it was last evening when a couple of them began grilling me about what I've told/to whom I've told. A few "watch your back" type threats, and one guy mentioned that he had a couple of friends who'd work me over. I was just left mouth agape, wondering what in hell had just happened... I'm still not clear on all the particulars, and would love to know why they decided to drag me into this crap.
One guy did accuse me of always "hating" him, which came as a bit of a surprise... I don't really hate that many people... but people seem to misinterpret my coldness/aloofness as hatred. Last night was hardly the time to explain to him "no, I don't hate you, I simply don't think about you at all." I just wish people would give me the same distance I attempt to give them, and leave well enough alone. I'd rather spend my time thinking about cute Pentecostal women and differential equations, and not thinking about people I cross paths with occasionally.
...
Oh yeah... I guess I'm one of the few people demonstrably "getting it" when it comes to this latest math class. A group of students who sit in the back pooled their resources and asked me last night if, for (rough estimate) $50 an hour for a group session, I'd be willing to tutor them a few hours a week. I'm just kinda...
The money would be nice, and I don't think I do a bad job as a tutor, but... they're in the same class, learning at the same pace as me. This is a fairly advanced class, and you *had* to demonstrate competency through/including vector calculus; we're all building off of the same skill-set, and I have no idea what I'd be able to help with. You just have to be meticulous in calculations. Plus, the second I hit a roadblock, they'd be screwed... and I almost hit that roadblock tonight, thanks to the nearly dismissive approach to linear equation dependence that the teacher had...
...$50 an hour. Hmm. Class Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, work Sunday through Thursday, portfolio writing and review on Tuesday and Friday, GED tutoring Saturday... what part of my life to I shut down to make room for something like that?
So; quick thing out of the way: Yes, I called Heather. No, she didn't call back. A few people suggested I call again, but... eh. I can't bring myself to do so. I feel like I should take the hint like a good little boy. Don't think I'm meant to date, anyway.
Did nothing this weekend of import; in fact, it was kind of a lost weekend. Woke up Saturday morning to discover that at some point during the night I'd made food, eaten food, gotten physically ill, watched the Royal Tenenbaums, and then gone back to bed. And- I remembered nothing of it. The "physically ill" part was a charmer; I had to clean a bit when I discovered that little aspect. Anyway- I have no idea what went on; I used to sleepwalk and have night terrors and whatnot when I was a kid, and I wonder if I've begun doing that again.
Hope I liked "The Royal Tenenbaums," since that was the first time I evidently watched it.
Saturday evening was the only time I went outside the house; I actually was in bed from midnight Saturday to 9 pm or so Sunday, 21 hours. Saturday was spent tutoring Rayna for her GED. It's way more difficult than I expected, though she's not as far behind as either of us originally thought... it's just hard for me to switch gears and try to gauge her algebra/rhetorical/grammatical/social science skills and then try to build off from there. It's never occurred to me before how to explain what underlies a "good" essay, or why division and multiplication are really the same operation... and now I have to try to put into words what has always seemed implicit to me. And, frankly, I do wonder if I'm teaching too much- she needs enough to pass, not to prepare for college.
So Rayna and I spent four hours doing that lying on her bed, drinking, talking about the GED stuff, talking about life, loneliness... in the midst of I suddenly realized that I was in the exact position I wished I'd been in 10 years ago... but she'd changed, I'd changed, and I realized that I'd never feel that way again, and it was just melancholy.
A new week with new threats from new people. This time, a new manager at WM has begun cracking down on the known "drug crowd" that works 3rd shift, and over the weekend went to the coworkers with whom I'm friendly to find out what they knew. So, I've come back to discover that the drug crowd has decided that *I* am a "snitch," and that I (exact quote here) "brainwashed my friends into hating" them. First I learned about it was last evening when a couple of them began grilling me about what I've told/to whom I've told. A few "watch your back" type threats, and one guy mentioned that he had a couple of friends who'd work me over. I was just left mouth agape, wondering what in hell had just happened... I'm still not clear on all the particulars, and would love to know why they decided to drag me into this crap.
One guy did accuse me of always "hating" him, which came as a bit of a surprise... I don't really hate that many people... but people seem to misinterpret my coldness/aloofness as hatred. Last night was hardly the time to explain to him "no, I don't hate you, I simply don't think about you at all." I just wish people would give me the same distance I attempt to give them, and leave well enough alone. I'd rather spend my time thinking about cute Pentecostal women and differential equations, and not thinking about people I cross paths with occasionally.
...
Oh yeah... I guess I'm one of the few people demonstrably "getting it" when it comes to this latest math class. A group of students who sit in the back pooled their resources and asked me last night if, for (rough estimate) $50 an hour for a group session, I'd be willing to tutor them a few hours a week. I'm just kinda...
The money would be nice, and I don't think I do a bad job as a tutor, but... they're in the same class, learning at the same pace as me. This is a fairly advanced class, and you *had* to demonstrate competency through/including vector calculus; we're all building off of the same skill-set, and I have no idea what I'd be able to help with. You just have to be meticulous in calculations. Plus, the second I hit a roadblock, they'd be screwed... and I almost hit that roadblock tonight, thanks to the nearly dismissive approach to linear equation dependence that the teacher had...
...$50 an hour. Hmm. Class Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, work Sunday through Thursday, portfolio writing and review on Tuesday and Friday, GED tutoring Saturday... what part of my life to I shut down to make room for something like that?
kalidoom:
Actually..I DID call you on Sunday. I knew you'd be at work, though. I just really needed to pick up the phone and call ANYONE. I am hurting.