The usual long thing here.
Well, I got my retroactive pay increase. The lump sum was on the low end of estimates... after taxes, a few thousand on top of my wages. Not bad at all-- I'm still a little stunned. (What do I buy? What do I buy?) The forthgoing pay increase is pretty nice too, though it looks like I got bumped up to a new tax bracket; the percentage of income being taken out is higher, so I'm still not netting $1000 a check. Close, though.
Really really good pay for an unskilled labor job when you think about it, especially in an area where the cost of living is still relatively low.
Tony was showing me something on his check, and I was kind of shocked by how little he's making. I didn't see his hourly rate, but I'm getting $300 more per paycheck than he is, and he's raising a son. (Then again, he gets a pretty hefty EIC each year and his "situation" gets him a few thousand in federal student grants each year, so I suppose it evens out.)
Anyway, getting that money puts me a step closer to taking that vacation to New Hampshire. I also got management to finally approve my days off, so that's done. The last piece of the puzzle is figuring out what to do with my cat; unlike Molly, Quinne's not the kind of cat who can be given a casserole dish of food and bucket of water and be left alone. I'm not keen on giving my key to anyone to have them check in on her, either. Dilemma.
So. I'm feeling a bit more "up" than in my last posting. I get tired of moping and being whiny-- if something's wrong, I need to take a look at what's going on, what I've power to change, and do something. (Hard for me to do when I'm truly depressed, but that's not been the case for a few years.) Instead of being introspective and beating myself up about what I find... be introspective and work with myself on what I find. So, I've been doing that. Trying to fight back against the increasing introversion and just plain fear I've had of late in dealing with people. Trying to learn to be in social, public situations.
Yeah, I'm trying to "get back out there" and meet someone. Whee. So I've been dancing a lot lately.
One of the interesting things in the last week as I gave myself counsel was that I ran across a thread on a group here, where women were bitching about being ignored when they tried to flirt at clubs. Something like "hey, guys, when I come up and say something like 'I like your shirt,' I'm flirting with you and the ball's in your court. Don't just say 'Thanks'!" Hmm. Something I've never felt comfortable with is assuming someone's flirting with me. But... the thread kept going. And going. More and more people poured in-- guys protesting they're not daft, women piling on about "like your shoes" or "you dance well" being their opening lines, that they've worked hard to screw up their courage to talk to men and they're being shot down and...
..."you dance well" is an opening line? I started counting back. I dance. A lot. I get "you dance well." A lot. And I've always just said "Thanks!" because... I thought that's what they meant. (And, granted, many probably do just mean that. But...) A couple clubs tried to hire me as a house dancer a while back, so I just take "you dance well" along those lines.
So after I showed Tony my check last week, I brought up the thread. Didn't mention the dancing thing, just the general idea of what the girls were saying. "Hah, just think if all those girls who say I'm a good dancer were flirting..."
"What if they were, Tony?"
"I... oh shit..."
"Counting back? How many have told you that over the years? How many said it last weekend?"
"Oh my God."
So... yeah, dancing last night was an interesting experience. Tony's the more personable one at the start; he'll dance with partners, he talks to people. Even though I'm in the middle of the dance floor, I'm too shy to make small talk and too clumsy to dance with a partner... but at least now I'm not just saying "thanks" and spinning away.
Well, I got my retroactive pay increase. The lump sum was on the low end of estimates... after taxes, a few thousand on top of my wages. Not bad at all-- I'm still a little stunned. (What do I buy? What do I buy?) The forthgoing pay increase is pretty nice too, though it looks like I got bumped up to a new tax bracket; the percentage of income being taken out is higher, so I'm still not netting $1000 a check. Close, though.
Really really good pay for an unskilled labor job when you think about it, especially in an area where the cost of living is still relatively low.
Tony was showing me something on his check, and I was kind of shocked by how little he's making. I didn't see his hourly rate, but I'm getting $300 more per paycheck than he is, and he's raising a son. (Then again, he gets a pretty hefty EIC each year and his "situation" gets him a few thousand in federal student grants each year, so I suppose it evens out.)
Anyway, getting that money puts me a step closer to taking that vacation to New Hampshire. I also got management to finally approve my days off, so that's done. The last piece of the puzzle is figuring out what to do with my cat; unlike Molly, Quinne's not the kind of cat who can be given a casserole dish of food and bucket of water and be left alone. I'm not keen on giving my key to anyone to have them check in on her, either. Dilemma.
So. I'm feeling a bit more "up" than in my last posting. I get tired of moping and being whiny-- if something's wrong, I need to take a look at what's going on, what I've power to change, and do something. (Hard for me to do when I'm truly depressed, but that's not been the case for a few years.) Instead of being introspective and beating myself up about what I find... be introspective and work with myself on what I find. So, I've been doing that. Trying to fight back against the increasing introversion and just plain fear I've had of late in dealing with people. Trying to learn to be in social, public situations.
Yeah, I'm trying to "get back out there" and meet someone. Whee. So I've been dancing a lot lately.
One of the interesting things in the last week as I gave myself counsel was that I ran across a thread on a group here, where women were bitching about being ignored when they tried to flirt at clubs. Something like "hey, guys, when I come up and say something like 'I like your shirt,' I'm flirting with you and the ball's in your court. Don't just say 'Thanks'!" Hmm. Something I've never felt comfortable with is assuming someone's flirting with me. But... the thread kept going. And going. More and more people poured in-- guys protesting they're not daft, women piling on about "like your shoes" or "you dance well" being their opening lines, that they've worked hard to screw up their courage to talk to men and they're being shot down and...
..."you dance well" is an opening line? I started counting back. I dance. A lot. I get "you dance well." A lot. And I've always just said "Thanks!" because... I thought that's what they meant. (And, granted, many probably do just mean that. But...) A couple clubs tried to hire me as a house dancer a while back, so I just take "you dance well" along those lines.
So after I showed Tony my check last week, I brought up the thread. Didn't mention the dancing thing, just the general idea of what the girls were saying. "Hah, just think if all those girls who say I'm a good dancer were flirting..."
"What if they were, Tony?"
"I... oh shit..."
"Counting back? How many have told you that over the years? How many said it last weekend?"
"Oh my God."
So... yeah, dancing last night was an interesting experience. Tony's the more personable one at the start; he'll dance with partners, he talks to people. Even though I'm in the middle of the dance floor, I'm too shy to make small talk and too clumsy to dance with a partner... but at least now I'm not just saying "thanks" and spinning away.
Maybe you could reply "thanks - could I buy you a drink?" and if they get all wierded out then maybe they weren't flirting with you after all. The only time this ever worked on me was at raves, though, so it was always like "thanks - want to sniff my menthol inhaler?" or something like that.
Also, bar small talk with girls shouldn't be too hard if you just ask them a bunch of questions and get them to talk about themselves. Once I had a guy tell me where/when he usually hung out (i.e so that I could try to bump into him again if I wanted to), which I thought was more comfortable than exchanging phone numbers or setting up a formal date after meeting a total stranger for the first time. Also, another time I'd been chatting with someone for a while when he said "so can I start hitting on you yet?" which I thought was pretty funny and cute.