A hell of a week. I really hate this time of year any more; so much stuff coincides around the second week of December now-- multiple anniversaries I'd rather not remember, finals, work becomes its usual holiday hell.
Anyway. A year since Molly died. I miss her tremendously. This new cat is okay; we spent a good hour cuddled up last night on the couch, but she's got some weird neurotic behaviors that are driving me up a wall. And... well... she's not Molly. I guess nothing can replace your first real pet. It says something that I still haven't named it. I've tried on a variety of names, but nothing fits, and my joking name of "ShutTheFuckUp GodDamnCat ShitInTheGodDamnBox" has felt more appropos as a name than the forced appelations of "Marcy" or whatever I've cooked up. Friends don't ask how "Marcy" is settling in, they ask how "ShutTheFuckUp" is doing. Go figure.
It was also a bit of a melancholy double-whammy relationship-wise this week; a year since I've last really been with Heather, and the sudden realization that my ex-wife's 30th birthday just occurred. I hate to admit it, but I still miss having Lindsey in my life. I don't miss the lying, cheating, and suspicion, of course... but I wonder if she could have matured somewhat in the intervening years; would a 30-year-old Lindsey be someone to be with now? Am I missing out? As much as I dig Heather, and know she brings so much more to the table than Lindsey, this being-ignored-for-work thing grates on my nerves, and for better or worse, I have had that experience in my life of being married (happily so for a while) that makes this on-again/off-again passive aggressive dating shit seem so pathetic.
How the hell was I ever married when my dating life has been so pathetic? The mind boggles.
Finals. Yeah. Got those out of the way. I think I scraped by with As all-'round; surprising in math especially, as I wasn't doing well in that class and actually apologized to the professor after the final. He looked a little surprised, as he said I was one of the few people in class doing well, but... it's not enough to do what's expected in a class, I need to actually put the effort into a class in order to properly understand it... and that's not something I did this semester. I did more learning in the last week than I did in the prior 15, and that's not good. I don't like cramming, and it's a bad way to learn. Still. I did better than all save two other students in that class; the number of people scoring 0-10 on each test (when each was worth 30 pts) was surprising. It'll be interesting to see my submitted grades, to see if I got 4.0s again, or managed to do only 3.8s.
Went out and drank a bit Friday night. I find any more that I'm not drinking much, but I'm still getting knocked out of my head by the stuff. Not a good sign. I don't even get a chance to go out all that often (this was the first time in over a month, I think), so it's kind of stupid for me to waste valuable dance time with getting loopy. Maybe I need to get back on my old program of nothing-but-Red-Bull when I go dancing? Still isn't good for my body, I suppose, but I'd rather be manic than woozy the next morning.
A couple of weeks off of school; time to catch up on stuff. This week-- I need to make appointments with the vet, with the eye doctor (I've been wearing glasses exculsively for a few months, as I lost one of my contacts), and clean this apartment from top to bottom. Woo-hoo.
Anyway. A year since Molly died. I miss her tremendously. This new cat is okay; we spent a good hour cuddled up last night on the couch, but she's got some weird neurotic behaviors that are driving me up a wall. And... well... she's not Molly. I guess nothing can replace your first real pet. It says something that I still haven't named it. I've tried on a variety of names, but nothing fits, and my joking name of "ShutTheFuckUp GodDamnCat ShitInTheGodDamnBox" has felt more appropos as a name than the forced appelations of "Marcy" or whatever I've cooked up. Friends don't ask how "Marcy" is settling in, they ask how "ShutTheFuckUp" is doing. Go figure.
It was also a bit of a melancholy double-whammy relationship-wise this week; a year since I've last really been with Heather, and the sudden realization that my ex-wife's 30th birthday just occurred. I hate to admit it, but I still miss having Lindsey in my life. I don't miss the lying, cheating, and suspicion, of course... but I wonder if she could have matured somewhat in the intervening years; would a 30-year-old Lindsey be someone to be with now? Am I missing out? As much as I dig Heather, and know she brings so much more to the table than Lindsey, this being-ignored-for-work thing grates on my nerves, and for better or worse, I have had that experience in my life of being married (happily so for a while) that makes this on-again/off-again passive aggressive dating shit seem so pathetic.
How the hell was I ever married when my dating life has been so pathetic? The mind boggles.
Finals. Yeah. Got those out of the way. I think I scraped by with As all-'round; surprising in math especially, as I wasn't doing well in that class and actually apologized to the professor after the final. He looked a little surprised, as he said I was one of the few people in class doing well, but... it's not enough to do what's expected in a class, I need to actually put the effort into a class in order to properly understand it... and that's not something I did this semester. I did more learning in the last week than I did in the prior 15, and that's not good. I don't like cramming, and it's a bad way to learn. Still. I did better than all save two other students in that class; the number of people scoring 0-10 on each test (when each was worth 30 pts) was surprising. It'll be interesting to see my submitted grades, to see if I got 4.0s again, or managed to do only 3.8s.
Went out and drank a bit Friday night. I find any more that I'm not drinking much, but I'm still getting knocked out of my head by the stuff. Not a good sign. I don't even get a chance to go out all that often (this was the first time in over a month, I think), so it's kind of stupid for me to waste valuable dance time with getting loopy. Maybe I need to get back on my old program of nothing-but-Red-Bull when I go dancing? Still isn't good for my body, I suppose, but I'd rather be manic than woozy the next morning.
A couple of weeks off of school; time to catch up on stuff. This week-- I need to make appointments with the vet, with the eye doctor (I've been wearing glasses exculsively for a few months, as I lost one of my contacts), and clean this apartment from top to bottom. Woo-hoo.
_risforrad:
"only 3.8s" - must be nice!