This is a commemorative blog I wrote four years ago after my wife's passing. Even if you don't know me, this blog tells just a little of a remarkable woman's life. It was pure chance that brought us together and that's what makes it all the more an incredible story.
It was 26 years ago. My roommate Danny, and I had come home on a Friday evening and were just hanging out at our apartment, when our friends David and Alice stopped by with all the fixings to make margaritas. We whipped up a few batches, then went over to Thirstys for a few drinks. After that, we went out to a club called Cardies. For all you youngsters, its the Gold Club now, but back in the day, Cardies was an awesome rock and roll bar that brought in great bands all the time.
We hung out at Cardies for awhile, but eventually decided to call it a night. Now, my roommate Danny worked for the city in the Code Enforcement Department, and he had a badge. Pretty much, all city badges look the same, so Danny would sometimes whip his badge out to meet girls. That night, Danny and I were walking through the parking lot, when I spotted this beautiful blonde sitting in her car putting on makeup. I pointed her out to Danny, and told him I wanted to meet her, so out came the badge and it was on. We did our good cop, bad cop routine and as usual, I ended up with her number.
A couple of weeks later, I was cleaning out my wallet, came across the number and gave her a call. I almost didnt!! Normally, Id called a girl within a few days of getting her number, but back then I had so many women around, I had kind of forgotten about her. I guess it was fate, because ultimately I made the call and we went out together.
Before long, she was the only girl in my life. We dated about six months. Moved in together, and finally made it official. We got married on June 12th, 1982. No one gave us a chance. I was 24, she was 19, and she was my THIRD wife!! In addition to being married (briefly) twice in the tender years between the ages of 18 and 24, I was a man-whore, whos sole purpose in life was to separate as many girls from their panties as humanly possible!!
Much to everyones surprise, we not only survived, we prospered. Tammy was smart, determined, and driven!! She was the Yen to my Yang. She always saw more in me, then I saw in myself. She always believed I could do and be anything. I wouldnt say she pushed me, more like inspired me. She just took it for granted that I was the SHIT, and when you live in that environment everyday, how can you not be??
The first few years we had small accomplishments. We bought our first new car, then our first home. I was working at Brance-Krachy, and she was working as a Word Processor at Weller, Wheelus, and Green. Tammy knew she wanted more, so she asked to be promoted to a Legal Secretary. Although she had no experience, she had proven herself to be a great employee, so they took a chance on her---A BIG Chance!! They moved her up to working for Ed Green, the Managing Partner of the Law Firm. Tammy fucking kicked ass in the job. Before long, she was Eds right hand!!
Never content to just be enough, Tammy joined the Legal Secretarys Association and continued her education. She busted her ass, studied hard, and eventually earned her Certification as a Professional Legal Secretary. She also was elected and served as the President of her local chapter of The Legal Secretarys Association.
After we had been married for about 7 years, I had the opportunity to take a job in Manufacturing, but it would require us to move to San Antonio. Tammy never hesitated. Although it would involve her leaving her position working for Ed Green and starting all over again in another city, she totally supported my desire to advance my career. So, in 1989 we moved to San Antonio. Ed Greens son, Hart was working in San Antonio as an Attorney at the Law Firm of Allen, Stein, Durbin, Powers, and Honeycutt, so Tammy applied for a position there. She got the job, working for the Managing Partner, Mark Stein.
That started a 10 year working relationship that transcended the work place. She and Mark became best friends. Yesterday, I called to tell him she had died, and he cried. We cried together.
Over the 10 years Tammy and I lived in San Antonio, she continued her education. She became a Certified Legal Assistant and earned TWO specializations with the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. She was Board Certified in both Civil Trial and Personal Injury trial law. At the time she earned her second certification (the maximum possible) she was one of only 80 people in the entire state to have every held two certified specializations. She was also accepted into the State Bar of Texas, a rare and almost unheard of honor for anyone who is not an attorney.
I remember the day we went to Austin and she was sworn into the State Bar by the Chief Justice of The Texas Supreme Court!! There was a reception afterwards, and all her family was there. I was SO FUCKING PROUD OF HER!!!! Today, many of the prominate attorneys in this town and San Antonio we trained by Tammy. She is well known and admired in our local, legal community by numerous Judges and Attorneys.
During all these years, we were also raising our son, Layne. My job required a great deal of travel, so I was away from home for many months out of every year. Tammy was both Mother and Father to our son. She worked with Boy Scouts and with the R.O.T.C. Booster Club when Layne was in high school. She was the one that was there every night to help with home work. She was the one who made sure her got to piano lessons. She attended the PTA meetings, and parent, teacher conferences. She bought the groceries, paid the bills, and kept our home running like a well oiled machine.
In 1999, I had the opportunity to move back to Beaumont. As nice as San Antonio was, it was never home to me, and I really wanted to move back to my friends and family. So once again, Tammy uprooted her entire life to support my career.
Although I didnt realize it at the time, this was the beginning of the end of our marriage. My new job required more travel then ever before. Being on the road and living in hotel rooms had just become my life over the years, so I was used to it, but things were changing. Layne had grown up and moved out of the house, and Tammys new job with the law firm of Adams Coffee was more demanding then any other job she had ever held. In addition to working as Kent Adams Legal Assistant, she was in charge of supervising all the Para-Legals at the firms offices in Beaumont, Houston, and Dallas. So, now Tammy was traveling and our schedules never seemed to mesh. When I was home, she was gone, and when she was home, I was gone. We became like two ships that pass in the night..
Eventually we drifted apart to the point where our marriage was more like a business partnership, then a loving relationship. There was no animosity, no hard feelings--we just grew apart. We were no longer the young kids who had met and fallen in love 20 years before. Tammy realized it before I did. As always, she wanted the most that life could give, so the marriage ended, but not the friendship.
Tammy died on Tuesday, January 13th, 2007. She was 44 years old. She was in my life for 26 years, and I cant even begin to understand how life will be without her. She left behind a son, her father, two sisters, and a brother. She was the youngest of four.
She never changed her name after our divorce. She carried my name to her death. Thats how we were. A piece of paper didnt define our relationship. I had the privilege of being married to one of the finest women to ever walk the face of this Earth. Those that knew us, always knew how much I respected her!! She was a damn, good woman, and I will miss her so much!!
It was 26 years ago. My roommate Danny, and I had come home on a Friday evening and were just hanging out at our apartment, when our friends David and Alice stopped by with all the fixings to make margaritas. We whipped up a few batches, then went over to Thirstys for a few drinks. After that, we went out to a club called Cardies. For all you youngsters, its the Gold Club now, but back in the day, Cardies was an awesome rock and roll bar that brought in great bands all the time.
We hung out at Cardies for awhile, but eventually decided to call it a night. Now, my roommate Danny worked for the city in the Code Enforcement Department, and he had a badge. Pretty much, all city badges look the same, so Danny would sometimes whip his badge out to meet girls. That night, Danny and I were walking through the parking lot, when I spotted this beautiful blonde sitting in her car putting on makeup. I pointed her out to Danny, and told him I wanted to meet her, so out came the badge and it was on. We did our good cop, bad cop routine and as usual, I ended up with her number.
A couple of weeks later, I was cleaning out my wallet, came across the number and gave her a call. I almost didnt!! Normally, Id called a girl within a few days of getting her number, but back then I had so many women around, I had kind of forgotten about her. I guess it was fate, because ultimately I made the call and we went out together.
Before long, she was the only girl in my life. We dated about six months. Moved in together, and finally made it official. We got married on June 12th, 1982. No one gave us a chance. I was 24, she was 19, and she was my THIRD wife!! In addition to being married (briefly) twice in the tender years between the ages of 18 and 24, I was a man-whore, whos sole purpose in life was to separate as many girls from their panties as humanly possible!!
Much to everyones surprise, we not only survived, we prospered. Tammy was smart, determined, and driven!! She was the Yen to my Yang. She always saw more in me, then I saw in myself. She always believed I could do and be anything. I wouldnt say she pushed me, more like inspired me. She just took it for granted that I was the SHIT, and when you live in that environment everyday, how can you not be??
The first few years we had small accomplishments. We bought our first new car, then our first home. I was working at Brance-Krachy, and she was working as a Word Processor at Weller, Wheelus, and Green. Tammy knew she wanted more, so she asked to be promoted to a Legal Secretary. Although she had no experience, she had proven herself to be a great employee, so they took a chance on her---A BIG Chance!! They moved her up to working for Ed Green, the Managing Partner of the Law Firm. Tammy fucking kicked ass in the job. Before long, she was Eds right hand!!
Never content to just be enough, Tammy joined the Legal Secretarys Association and continued her education. She busted her ass, studied hard, and eventually earned her Certification as a Professional Legal Secretary. She also was elected and served as the President of her local chapter of The Legal Secretarys Association.
After we had been married for about 7 years, I had the opportunity to take a job in Manufacturing, but it would require us to move to San Antonio. Tammy never hesitated. Although it would involve her leaving her position working for Ed Green and starting all over again in another city, she totally supported my desire to advance my career. So, in 1989 we moved to San Antonio. Ed Greens son, Hart was working in San Antonio as an Attorney at the Law Firm of Allen, Stein, Durbin, Powers, and Honeycutt, so Tammy applied for a position there. She got the job, working for the Managing Partner, Mark Stein.
That started a 10 year working relationship that transcended the work place. She and Mark became best friends. Yesterday, I called to tell him she had died, and he cried. We cried together.
Over the 10 years Tammy and I lived in San Antonio, she continued her education. She became a Certified Legal Assistant and earned TWO specializations with the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. She was Board Certified in both Civil Trial and Personal Injury trial law. At the time she earned her second certification (the maximum possible) she was one of only 80 people in the entire state to have every held two certified specializations. She was also accepted into the State Bar of Texas, a rare and almost unheard of honor for anyone who is not an attorney.
I remember the day we went to Austin and she was sworn into the State Bar by the Chief Justice of The Texas Supreme Court!! There was a reception afterwards, and all her family was there. I was SO FUCKING PROUD OF HER!!!! Today, many of the prominate attorneys in this town and San Antonio we trained by Tammy. She is well known and admired in our local, legal community by numerous Judges and Attorneys.
During all these years, we were also raising our son, Layne. My job required a great deal of travel, so I was away from home for many months out of every year. Tammy was both Mother and Father to our son. She worked with Boy Scouts and with the R.O.T.C. Booster Club when Layne was in high school. She was the one that was there every night to help with home work. She was the one who made sure her got to piano lessons. She attended the PTA meetings, and parent, teacher conferences. She bought the groceries, paid the bills, and kept our home running like a well oiled machine.
In 1999, I had the opportunity to move back to Beaumont. As nice as San Antonio was, it was never home to me, and I really wanted to move back to my friends and family. So once again, Tammy uprooted her entire life to support my career.
Although I didnt realize it at the time, this was the beginning of the end of our marriage. My new job required more travel then ever before. Being on the road and living in hotel rooms had just become my life over the years, so I was used to it, but things were changing. Layne had grown up and moved out of the house, and Tammys new job with the law firm of Adams Coffee was more demanding then any other job she had ever held. In addition to working as Kent Adams Legal Assistant, she was in charge of supervising all the Para-Legals at the firms offices in Beaumont, Houston, and Dallas. So, now Tammy was traveling and our schedules never seemed to mesh. When I was home, she was gone, and when she was home, I was gone. We became like two ships that pass in the night..
Eventually we drifted apart to the point where our marriage was more like a business partnership, then a loving relationship. There was no animosity, no hard feelings--we just grew apart. We were no longer the young kids who had met and fallen in love 20 years before. Tammy realized it before I did. As always, she wanted the most that life could give, so the marriage ended, but not the friendship.
Tammy died on Tuesday, January 13th, 2007. She was 44 years old. She was in my life for 26 years, and I cant even begin to understand how life will be without her. She left behind a son, her father, two sisters, and a brother. She was the youngest of four.
She never changed her name after our divorce. She carried my name to her death. Thats how we were. A piece of paper didnt define our relationship. I had the privilege of being married to one of the finest women to ever walk the face of this Earth. Those that knew us, always knew how much I respected her!! She was a damn, good woman, and I will miss her so much!!
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cathleeen:
thank for your comment on my set 
moonlil:
Thank you for the comment!