stoothman

I am rather surprised sometimes that my blogs seem like such a grip fest. But on the up side it is nice to have a place to say what is really on my mind. I am a member of several other sites, like facebook, but I do not feel comfortable saying what I really think there because of the people I know who will read it. It is just like real life in that regard, I can never truly safe what I am thinking or feeling because there are too many people who just would not understand. That is why I like this place so much. While there are a fair number of people who will judge me because of what I say I know there are just as many people who will be supportive. So here I go on another rant.

As some of you know, I am not in a very happy place relationshipwise. I would very much like to find an answer to the the problems I face, but there is not a good one. So I have started to look for a willing person to have some fun and maybe just maybe something more. I will be the first to admit that this is not the ideal situation. There will be plenty of people who judge me for wanting to have an affair. But to be perfectly honest, until they have walked a fucking mile in my shoes, they can shut the fuck up.

I have talked to many people about my situation and it seems to come down to two answers either leave her or try to work it out. Unfortunately neither is really an option. I have tried to work it out but there is not any room any more for me in her life. And I am not about to leave her for fear that I will lose my kids. I have not always been the best person and that will come back to haunt me. So I am left seeking a third course, finding a friend who I can have fun with but who understands the situation I am in.

I apologize if this sounds self serving and bitchy, it probably is. But the one thing I have always been able to count on is my friends here on SG to listen and be accepting of who I am and where I am.

Thanks for listening

Steve