Shit, I cant sleep. I need sleep. Lastnight was a fuckall situation. I am pissed on so many levels. but why am i angry? dissappointment in self. A lack of trust in others. Like Ceasar, the closest people are those who should be trusted least, ah but those are honorable people right? Hm, i wonder sometimes. I am loosing faith in something and i dont even know what. maybe myself, i want to say others, but it doesnt feel right. I think it is time i just spend some alone time. but damnit, it is one of my roommates b-days so scratch that plan. right now i dont want to be around either of them. I know ill just drink, it will make it all ok. ill be numb, and nothing will matter. yeah i think that is my only option once again. I need a way out. 
bb