a new day and new beginnings here - i shouldn't be feeling so good but a wake-up from my boyfriend kncoking on my door this morning brought my day to a terrific start. from there we ran around the city running errand and doing bits of this and that, stopping for pizza buffet for lunch (yum!) and then i gave him my super magic massage...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
my boss (the body piercer) has put off my apprenticeship for a year or more until i am "stable" i haven't been "stable" in god knows how long. not for a loooong time. i cried all the way home from the shop. he said it doesn't mean it rules me out as an apprentice for sure but right now is not the time.
the one...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dexie:
Why does your boss termine what you're emotionally suited for? I would think punching holes in people all day would be very reliefing.
edited because I can't figure out how to spell releaving... reliefing... something BAH!
[Edited on Jun 23, 2005 2:49PM]
edited because I can't figure out how to spell releaving... reliefing... something BAH!
[Edited on Jun 23, 2005 2:49PM]
johndoe98:
I lost my dream years ago. I joined the air force,but had a bad car accident. When i recovered i got called to personal and was told i was being medically discharged! And within a couple of days i was gone and it was over.
It's taken a long time but i'm about to embark on a new course to be a bike mechanic.
I think you've always got to think theres a light at the end of the tunnel,even in the dark times. I lost sight of that and klost a lot of years,but i'm getting there now.And you've got youth on your side honey.
I hope you come though this,depresssions a bitch. Take care honey,and never give in.
P.s. Don't want to sound preachy, if i do just ignore me
It's taken a long time but i'm about to embark on a new course to be a bike mechanic.
I think you've always got to think theres a light at the end of the tunnel,even in the dark times. I lost sight of that and klost a lot of years,but i'm getting there now.And you've got youth on your side honey.
I hope you come though this,depresssions a bitch. Take care honey,and never give in.
P.s. Don't want to sound preachy, if i do just ignore me
still depressed. can't leave icky dirty house. am running out of food. have no money. but at least i'm not crying right this second. i'm hoping that the depression breaks soon. cause i don't really know what to do or who to turn to anymore.
went to see my new therapist today but found out she doesn't take my insurance so i had to find...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
agnosticf:
my problem is, that i only can write some gently sentences. and these are from far away...
the distance and the different language makes me a bit helpless...
here in germany i prefer to visit my friends when they're depressed, cause be close and eye to eye works better than a phonecall or a chat...
yours,
Frank
the distance and the different language makes me a bit helpless...
here in germany i prefer to visit my friends when they're depressed, cause be close and eye to eye works better than a phonecall or a chat...
yours,
Frank
dexie:
Oh Im very happy you two worked things out... 
,
dex
,
dex
i went to the wakarusa music festival on saturday and had a good time until the acid kicked in bad. then i started thinking too much. i'm never taking lsd or mollie again. i just can't. today i was an emotional wreck having survived the second worst trip that i've ever had and while trying to absorb music and people - i normally stay away...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dexie:
I know it's rough right now, but honestly it's for the best. Sometimes break's really show people how much they care for eachother, or... how much they don't. It's a good time to get things into perspective.
Yeah I could never do acid. Reality's too scary for me already.
Yeah I could never do acid. Reality's too scary for me already.
ericdravyn:
Don't give up... that's the most important thing... don't ever give up.
The other thing is to not make the mistake of blaming yourself for other people's actions or shortcomings... being in a bi-polar state makes that a very easy mistake to make...
You are in a tough spot, one I'm familiar with... don't give up. Period. And learn to believe that you deserve more... someone to love you and take care of you the way you would love and take care of them...
Don't give up.
The other thing is to not make the mistake of blaming yourself for other people's actions or shortcomings... being in a bi-polar state makes that a very easy mistake to make...
You are in a tough spot, one I'm familiar with... don't give up. Period. And learn to believe that you deserve more... someone to love you and take care of you the way you would love and take care of them...
Don't give up.
i don't know how to post my new tattoo pics directly to my journal so you have to go to StarGilr's pics to see them but they're up. tiny but up.
and if anyone wants to enlighen me as to how to post pics in my journal, you'd have my graditude forever. i'm computerly challenged sometimes. and i have a mac which is supposed to...
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and if anyone wants to enlighen me as to how to post pics in my journal, you'd have my graditude forever. i'm computerly challenged sometimes. and i have a mac which is supposed to...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
freek:
just wanted to say i love your ink. where have you been going if i may ask you got beautiful work.
blackbirdy:
your tattoos are amazing! a true piece of art. I noticed your from KC-I used to live there so I just thought that was interesting. I just thought I would say hi!
got back from the lake and i told my dad about my apprenticeship and he didn't get angry!!!!!!
and i got tattooed today by the wonderful ben alvarez - just the outline of my left sleeve - but it looks great and i feel good about it. tattooing is good therapy for me sometimes. expensive, but good. and now i'm negative in bankaccount and have...
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dexie:
hi sweet girl Well Im glad you're in a happier place now. i understand the "tatto therapy" method alot. Ive been itching to get started on my sleeves for quite some time now. I can't wait to see yours, so get those pics asap!
Just remember; "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" That counts towards relationships too.
Have a great evening,
Dex
Just remember; "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" That counts towards relationships too.
Have a great evening,
Dex
ericdravyn:
I am glad you were able to talk and get some things straight between you and Brian... can't fix it if you don't talk about it. I also agree with Dexie and think that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Hell, that means we are going to be some of the strongest motherfuckers on the planet... 
Can't wait to see your latest tattoo (and get mine); happy lube' ing...
Can't wait to see your latest tattoo (and get mine); happy lube' ing...
having a sad day/bad day
too much drama in my life that really doesn't concern me
too few friends
not enough time with brian
dad stopped by and said to just get out of the house and off the computer and come down to the lake - no offense to my dad but he is the last person on this earth that can cheer me...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
loco77:
oh yeah, I finally added some pics. Nothing special or recent, but I added some.
tathra:
*hugs*
unfortunately time is the only thing that really helps depression.
unfortunately time is the only thing that really helps depression.
i just got on my computer and the picture of my labia piercings was on the screen - apparently my boyfriend was snooping though my profile and found the picture and left it up to let me know that he knows my stuff is on the internet now. fuck that bullshit. i know he's pissed but he hasn't said anything about it - just left...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
frankeng:
well i don't think he should snoop threw anything if he doesn't like it that show something that may end up hurting you in the futur
sophie:
hello lovely!
i want to pose for SG anyway and will be submitting some pics fairly soon, and he's angry and hurt about that too. i think the female form is beautiful and should be shared. he doesn't think i should be doing "porn" and threatened to tell my parents.
dump his ass.
i'm just saying that because freestate is my ex-boyfriend (who's not on here anymore, since we broke up) and he and i used to go back and forth like that all the time. ALL THE TIME. it NEVER ENDS.
open-minded, sexually comfortable women need to be with open-minded, sexually comfortable men.
nowadays i'm happily in a relationship with cklarock and he is fuckin' lightyears ahead of my ex. he's amazingly cool and comfortable with things. his lines are where my lines are. keep looking. these boys are out there.
i wish i could give you a hug. and if you need some help cleaning out the room or whatever, maybe i could haul some stuff for you with my truck this weekend? just a thought.
good luck with the new job. work it!
[Edited on Jun 13, 2005 11:07AM]
so after a bad start to the morning (crying because i thought i was going to have to get rid of my cats) i managed to beat the creepying depression, get out of bed, mow both lawns, am now drinking a bottle of water feeling quite strong inside and out, ready to start my new fish oil regimine (it's supposed to fight bipolar when taken...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
thundercuntluvah:
Awesome!
I finally have two days off. The past couple weeks my life hasn't felt like my own, but isn't it nice when significant others and friends make the days better.
Glad it turned out. You'll kick ass at piercing.
I finally have two days off. The past couple weeks my life hasn't felt like my own, but isn't it nice when significant others and friends make the days better.
Glad it turned out. You'll kick ass at piercing.
_biblia_:
Glad you like your craft. I wasn't sure of the size so I erred on the side of caution. Try washing it in hot h20, maybe you can shrink it!
I'm on the road, so I haven't gotten to see my craft yet. I'm sure I'll love it-- I like all your other pieces you've posted!
I don't remember if I replied about the english major, kicking and dragging to business major thing. . . . I'm sure all are welcome, even if you are being practical!
I'm on the road, so I haven't gotten to see my craft yet. I'm sure I'll love it-- I like all your other pieces you've posted!
I don't remember if I replied about the english major, kicking and dragging to business major thing. . . . I'm sure all are welcome, even if you are being practical!
my bling-bling pics are up - so are some new photos of me that i took tonight since i was supposed to go out but got ditched instead - there better be a good explanation tomorrow at work
so i amused myself by taking pictures - only two turned out decent - they're in StarGirl's Phots and my bling-bling is under private photos or soemthing...
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so i amused myself by taking pictures - only two turned out decent - they're in StarGirl's Phots and my bling-bling is under private photos or soemthing...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
ericdravyn:
I'm glad you're all healed up; your girlie parts didn't look like they hurt, they looked quite nice, actually. Just that you said that they took a year to heal... that had to suck.
Next piercing you get, we'll do a healing right then and there; any excuse to get back to and hang out in KC. Had a great time there recently; wish I knew you then. Next time...
Next piercing you get, we'll do a healing right then and there; any excuse to get back to and hang out in KC. Had a great time there recently; wish I knew you then. Next time...
ericdravyn:
Well I feel stupid... read the above journal quickly and saw "cooch" (which is what my friends refer to their business as...), instead of "conch" which is clearly what you wrote.
No wonder you're still healing; I was aiming too low... will get right on that.
We'll definitely hang out when I roll back through there... you ever on the East Coast? How about New Orleans? I will be working there in August.
(Edited for really bad spelling... jeez
)
[Edited on Jun 05, 2005 10:52PM]
No wonder you're still healing; I was aiming too low... will get right on that.
We'll definitely hang out when I roll back through there... you ever on the East Coast? How about New Orleans? I will be working there in August.
(Edited for really bad spelling... jeez
)[Edited on Jun 05, 2005 10:52PM]
"I have learned two lessons in my life: first, there are no sufficient literary, psychological, or historical answers to human tragedy, only moral ones. Second, just as despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings."
Amen, Beautiful...