i just got on my computer and the picture of my labia piercings was on the screen - apparently my boyfriend was snooping though my profile and found the picture and left it up to let me know that he knows my stuff is on the internet now. fuck that bullshit. i know he's pissed but he hasn't said anything about it - just left my profile open to that picture and the picture pulled up.
he gets so jealous sometimes and i feel really violated that he was going through my personal stuff and reading my journal and stuff. it's not exactly private but he doesn't like SG and i do and it's my thing and it's private to me and my friends and whoever wants to look. grrr.
should i not be angry that he snoops through my computer files? why should i have to log out of SG every time i'm not using it wjen he's coming over. i'm not trying to hide stuff from him - but i knew the picture would just incite a lot of jealousy so i didn't tell him about it. now he knows, so he knows. so what? i want to pose for SG anyway and will be submitting some pics fairly soon, and he's angry and hurt about that too. i think the female form is beautiful and should be shared. he doesn't think i should be doing "porn" and threatened to tell my parents. what is so threatening to him? he knows he's the only guy for me and has been for over a year and i've never been unfaithful or even thought about being unfaithful. so why all the anger and resentment? why can't i share my body with other people too? it's not like SG is even going to pick me anyway - i mean i have a chance but i'm sure they get hundreds or thousands of submissions of flawless-bodied women. my body is flawed but i have awesome curves and kick-ass tattoos like no one else on this site (even my ass is tattooed as are my breasts). so i kind of think i have as good a shot as anyone else. but you never can tell.
speaking of negativity in my life, my ex-roomie and no ex-friend not only moved out and left me with a bunch of utilies she owes me for (about $200 worth), left trash in her room, left what she didn't want in her room, left her stroage stuff in my basement but she stole my piece too. so if anyone in kc meets a 6 foot tall red head named emily in kc please just punch her in the nose for me 'cause she won't return my calls and i don't know her new address. i know karma will get her bad, but i really need the $$ right now and the my only piece, my baby that i've had for YEARS and she fucking stole it. i honestly consider myself a pacifist but if i ever see her again i don't know if could restrain myself and she's got a good 7" and at least 60 lbs. on me but i have a little craziness and a hell of a lot of anger on my side. i think i could take her but if anyone does meet or know her i want my money and my pipe. and i never want to see her ugly face again. i've asked the big guy to tone down my anger but it still seems ragin' right now. there is absolutely nothing i can do at this point, except go to the places she frequents and wait. but i'm sure her friends will give her the heads up if i do and then my waiting at a gay coffee shop will be pointless and wasteful.
i have no money to get tattooed anymore but instead of paying the bills i'm going to get tattooed anyway. fuck utilities. i don't need light. i need a tattoo. it's therapy for me. and i need a hug right now. and some love and some new friends. mine aren't holding up their end of the friendship bargain right now.
but on the bright side - kind of - i got the job at express - only $7.00 an hour though - i start thursday - get tattooed wends.
yeah! some friends are coming over. at least tonight won't be a total waste but without my party bowl it's gonna kind of suck. . .
he gets so jealous sometimes and i feel really violated that he was going through my personal stuff and reading my journal and stuff. it's not exactly private but he doesn't like SG and i do and it's my thing and it's private to me and my friends and whoever wants to look. grrr.
should i not be angry that he snoops through my computer files? why should i have to log out of SG every time i'm not using it wjen he's coming over. i'm not trying to hide stuff from him - but i knew the picture would just incite a lot of jealousy so i didn't tell him about it. now he knows, so he knows. so what? i want to pose for SG anyway and will be submitting some pics fairly soon, and he's angry and hurt about that too. i think the female form is beautiful and should be shared. he doesn't think i should be doing "porn" and threatened to tell my parents. what is so threatening to him? he knows he's the only guy for me and has been for over a year and i've never been unfaithful or even thought about being unfaithful. so why all the anger and resentment? why can't i share my body with other people too? it's not like SG is even going to pick me anyway - i mean i have a chance but i'm sure they get hundreds or thousands of submissions of flawless-bodied women. my body is flawed but i have awesome curves and kick-ass tattoos like no one else on this site (even my ass is tattooed as are my breasts). so i kind of think i have as good a shot as anyone else. but you never can tell.
speaking of negativity in my life, my ex-roomie and no ex-friend not only moved out and left me with a bunch of utilies she owes me for (about $200 worth), left trash in her room, left what she didn't want in her room, left her stroage stuff in my basement but she stole my piece too. so if anyone in kc meets a 6 foot tall red head named emily in kc please just punch her in the nose for me 'cause she won't return my calls and i don't know her new address. i know karma will get her bad, but i really need the $$ right now and the my only piece, my baby that i've had for YEARS and she fucking stole it. i honestly consider myself a pacifist but if i ever see her again i don't know if could restrain myself and she's got a good 7" and at least 60 lbs. on me but i have a little craziness and a hell of a lot of anger on my side. i think i could take her but if anyone does meet or know her i want my money and my pipe. and i never want to see her ugly face again. i've asked the big guy to tone down my anger but it still seems ragin' right now. there is absolutely nothing i can do at this point, except go to the places she frequents and wait. but i'm sure her friends will give her the heads up if i do and then my waiting at a gay coffee shop will be pointless and wasteful.
i have no money to get tattooed anymore but instead of paying the bills i'm going to get tattooed anyway. fuck utilities. i don't need light. i need a tattoo. it's therapy for me. and i need a hug right now. and some love and some new friends. mine aren't holding up their end of the friendship bargain right now.
but on the bright side - kind of - i got the job at express - only $7.00 an hour though - i start thursday - get tattooed wends.
yeah! some friends are coming over. at least tonight won't be a total waste but without my party bowl it's gonna kind of suck. . .
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
i want to pose for SG anyway and will be submitting some pics fairly soon, and he's angry and hurt about that too. i think the female form is beautiful and should be shared. he doesn't think i should be doing "porn" and threatened to tell my parents.
dump his ass.
i'm just saying that because freestate is my ex-boyfriend (who's not on here anymore, since we broke up) and he and i used to go back and forth like that all the time. ALL THE TIME. it NEVER ENDS.
open-minded, sexually comfortable women need to be with open-minded, sexually comfortable men.
nowadays i'm happily in a relationship with cklarock and he is fuckin' lightyears ahead of my ex. he's amazingly cool and comfortable with things. his lines are where my lines are. keep looking. these boys are out there.
i wish i could give you a hug. and if you need some help cleaning out the room or whatever, maybe i could haul some stuff for you with my truck this weekend? just a thought.
good luck with the new job. work it!
[Edited on Jun 13, 2005 11:07AM]