I wrote this last night but my computer was being stupid and wouldn't post it.
Ugh... I hate be a complainer, but I had the worst week ever. Kate was such an asshole, all week. And she didn't feel like doing anything, so my "vacation" week was sitting in a dorm room, slightly prisoner-like... no, I take it back, VERY prisoner-like. I just feel horrible. I was treated so badly for a week. I was subjected to a week of being too broke, too alone, and too much of a push over to say fuck you I'm not taking your shit, I don't deserve it. Fuck me. I'm the one to blame for letting people do this to me. Such an asshole to myself. ::shakes head::
So here's a small list of some things she did, to give an idea without having to tell the whole story (I'm tired and I have to get up early.)
-The usual comments and jokes meant to degrade me and amuse her or make her feel better about herself, or some other twisted shit. I don't pretend to understand it.
-In contrast, playing the victim and claiming that I treat her like an idiot with MY comments and jokes (to give her credit, sometimes I DO try giving her a dose of her own medicine, but I guess it's lost on her that I was just impersonating her.)
-Again with the normal, being selfish and childish and all that.
But more specifically...
-She insisted on working out every day. I like working out. I'm envious that she has a gym in her building. However, working out every day is insane. Or just funny, since she complains about her new arm muscles. Anyway, we worked out then weighed ourselves. She watches as I weight myself. Personally, I wouldn't do it to her because it's personal to a girl, but, well, that's Kate. But I guess it's different for her because I'm shorter and have a slightly smaller frame. Only slightly, but it kills her because she has to be perfect in her mind, the best at everything. Apparently my smaller frame is interfering. Which is ridiculous because it's so minute a difference that we actually wear the same size, except I get jeans in short instead of regular. Back to the story, we were talking about weight and the scale and she was complaining that she's gained three pounds since she went to school. Knowing better than to counter with "it's only three pounds you don't look any different," "it could just be weight fluctuation," "it could just be the scale," or even "eating better does more for the weight loss you want, working out every day the way you do is just going to gain you muscle, which will, in effect, bring your weight UP." No, I know better than to start an argument, even to make her feel better. So I try to subtly change the subject/ backhandedly disregard the scale/ make light of the situation by telling her how I set the scale to 128 and it shot straight up, then 129 and it shot straight down, which was weird because if it's within two pounds it shouldn't shoot, it should be slightly up or down. So I tried to put it somewhere in the middle and it just wouldn't stop bouncing. Again with trying to put me down and make me feel like an idiot, she gives me a look like shut the fuck up you're too stupid to waste the air around you, and said, "that's because you have to wait for it to settle, and thanks for boasting your weight." Really, being 5'4" and 130 lbs is nothing to boast about in this day and age and if it was, I still wouldn't. Well, I might flaunt it, but boast? No. So she takes the stairs two at a time knowing that I'm too short and walk too slow and am too tired of trying to please her to catch up. Well, she probably was clueless about the last. But then we get to her room and watch Sex and the City and she comments on how she wants all of Sarah Jessica Parker's clothes from the show, and I say, yeah I want about half of them, except in my size, making a joke in reference to the face that ALL the actresses on that show are smaller than average. Probably even the cute brunette who looks healthy as opposed to freakishly skinny like the rest of them. ::shudders:: Bony people are so creepy. Again I got that look, and even a head shake to go along with it, and she said, "You probably are her size." For anyone who doesn't know, I'm guessing the girl is a size 0. I'm not a 0, I'm a something, my body has some fat on it and I don't starve myself. No offense meant to anyone.
-Everywhere we walked she took up half the walkway and walked faster than me, so I couldn't walk next to her without having to move a lot for people going the opposite direction. Plus I have this unconscious thing where I walk behind people. I try to correct it. Sometimes. Also, she takes stairs two at a time, especially when she's pissed off at me. Yet she actually said, "aren't you going to walk WITH me?" I tried to protest, but as usual I was wrong, she wasn't walking fast, I was walking slow.
-Once we were going to bed and she was on the phone with Bobby (boyfriend) for a LONG time. So I pretended I was asleep because I didn't want to talk to her anyway. She whispered, "Gram.... Gram," which is what she calls me. Then she said it louder so I figured I had to respond. Plus I wondered how ridiculous the reason was for waking me. She always wakes me up when I'm sleeping. It's usually quite ridiculous, usually pretty mean, too. It was ridiculous. But while I was pretending to sleep after she called me the first time and before the second time, she did something of interest. At least of interest to this list. I was laying on my back and switched to my stomach, on the edge of the bed, taking up as little room as possible. The bed is small, but I didn't even take up a third of it. She took up the rest of the bed and leaned a pillow against me, which just seems like a waste of good bed space to me. Then, she decided she wanted even more room, so she kicked my feet because they were almost at the halfway line, and fuck I forgot I only get a third of the bed. No she didn't really tell me I only got a third of the bed, but it's almost believable. She said something to the effect of me taking up a lot of space. Then she pushed against the pillow, almost pushing me off the bed (because I'm already on the edge) and mentioned feeling claustrophobic. That's when she "woke me up" and complained that I was being a bed hog, claiming that I'd been taking up more than half the bed. I tried to argue, claiming I'd woken up the same way I fell asleep so I didn't see how that was possible, but she got pissed off and said I was sleeping so how would I know.
I'm so pissed off at her. Currently accepting applications for new friends. Only qualification: must be appalled by the above stories. ::shakes head::
Ugh... I hate be a complainer, but I had the worst week ever. Kate was such an asshole, all week. And she didn't feel like doing anything, so my "vacation" week was sitting in a dorm room, slightly prisoner-like... no, I take it back, VERY prisoner-like. I just feel horrible. I was treated so badly for a week. I was subjected to a week of being too broke, too alone, and too much of a push over to say fuck you I'm not taking your shit, I don't deserve it. Fuck me. I'm the one to blame for letting people do this to me. Such an asshole to myself. ::shakes head::
So here's a small list of some things she did, to give an idea without having to tell the whole story (I'm tired and I have to get up early.)
-The usual comments and jokes meant to degrade me and amuse her or make her feel better about herself, or some other twisted shit. I don't pretend to understand it.
-In contrast, playing the victim and claiming that I treat her like an idiot with MY comments and jokes (to give her credit, sometimes I DO try giving her a dose of her own medicine, but I guess it's lost on her that I was just impersonating her.)
-Again with the normal, being selfish and childish and all that.
But more specifically...
-She insisted on working out every day. I like working out. I'm envious that she has a gym in her building. However, working out every day is insane. Or just funny, since she complains about her new arm muscles. Anyway, we worked out then weighed ourselves. She watches as I weight myself. Personally, I wouldn't do it to her because it's personal to a girl, but, well, that's Kate. But I guess it's different for her because I'm shorter and have a slightly smaller frame. Only slightly, but it kills her because she has to be perfect in her mind, the best at everything. Apparently my smaller frame is interfering. Which is ridiculous because it's so minute a difference that we actually wear the same size, except I get jeans in short instead of regular. Back to the story, we were talking about weight and the scale and she was complaining that she's gained three pounds since she went to school. Knowing better than to counter with "it's only three pounds you don't look any different," "it could just be weight fluctuation," "it could just be the scale," or even "eating better does more for the weight loss you want, working out every day the way you do is just going to gain you muscle, which will, in effect, bring your weight UP." No, I know better than to start an argument, even to make her feel better. So I try to subtly change the subject/ backhandedly disregard the scale/ make light of the situation by telling her how I set the scale to 128 and it shot straight up, then 129 and it shot straight down, which was weird because if it's within two pounds it shouldn't shoot, it should be slightly up or down. So I tried to put it somewhere in the middle and it just wouldn't stop bouncing. Again with trying to put me down and make me feel like an idiot, she gives me a look like shut the fuck up you're too stupid to waste the air around you, and said, "that's because you have to wait for it to settle, and thanks for boasting your weight." Really, being 5'4" and 130 lbs is nothing to boast about in this day and age and if it was, I still wouldn't. Well, I might flaunt it, but boast? No. So she takes the stairs two at a time knowing that I'm too short and walk too slow and am too tired of trying to please her to catch up. Well, she probably was clueless about the last. But then we get to her room and watch Sex and the City and she comments on how she wants all of Sarah Jessica Parker's clothes from the show, and I say, yeah I want about half of them, except in my size, making a joke in reference to the face that ALL the actresses on that show are smaller than average. Probably even the cute brunette who looks healthy as opposed to freakishly skinny like the rest of them. ::shudders:: Bony people are so creepy. Again I got that look, and even a head shake to go along with it, and she said, "You probably are her size." For anyone who doesn't know, I'm guessing the girl is a size 0. I'm not a 0, I'm a something, my body has some fat on it and I don't starve myself. No offense meant to anyone.
-Everywhere we walked she took up half the walkway and walked faster than me, so I couldn't walk next to her without having to move a lot for people going the opposite direction. Plus I have this unconscious thing where I walk behind people. I try to correct it. Sometimes. Also, she takes stairs two at a time, especially when she's pissed off at me. Yet she actually said, "aren't you going to walk WITH me?" I tried to protest, but as usual I was wrong, she wasn't walking fast, I was walking slow.
-Once we were going to bed and she was on the phone with Bobby (boyfriend) for a LONG time. So I pretended I was asleep because I didn't want to talk to her anyway. She whispered, "Gram.... Gram," which is what she calls me. Then she said it louder so I figured I had to respond. Plus I wondered how ridiculous the reason was for waking me. She always wakes me up when I'm sleeping. It's usually quite ridiculous, usually pretty mean, too. It was ridiculous. But while I was pretending to sleep after she called me the first time and before the second time, she did something of interest. At least of interest to this list. I was laying on my back and switched to my stomach, on the edge of the bed, taking up as little room as possible. The bed is small, but I didn't even take up a third of it. She took up the rest of the bed and leaned a pillow against me, which just seems like a waste of good bed space to me. Then, she decided she wanted even more room, so she kicked my feet because they were almost at the halfway line, and fuck I forgot I only get a third of the bed. No she didn't really tell me I only got a third of the bed, but it's almost believable. She said something to the effect of me taking up a lot of space. Then she pushed against the pillow, almost pushing me off the bed (because I'm already on the edge) and mentioned feeling claustrophobic. That's when she "woke me up" and complained that I was being a bed hog, claiming that I'd been taking up more than half the bed. I tried to argue, claiming I'd woken up the same way I fell asleep so I didn't see how that was possible, but she got pissed off and said I was sleeping so how would I know.
I'm so pissed off at her. Currently accepting applications for new friends. Only qualification: must be appalled by the above stories. ::shakes head::
She more than likely does not consciously think I'm going to be mean to Gram right now, for no good reason. Here-in lies the problem. Her natural disposition is to act like a selfish brat, caring only about how she feels. It seems as if she does not have the capacity to realize when she's acting completely unreasonable or when she's treating you poorly. For this reason, she will never change. If you tell her directly how you feel, she might change her behavior for a little while, only as a short-term reaction; but it won't last.
If I'm right about her, then in the long-run, she'll more than likely act in the same selfish ways all of her life.
You seem like a very nice and intelligent person. You can find better friends. You just need to get rid of the one who's a waste of your time and energy first...