All my life I was always super skinny to everyone around me and myself. Ever since I was 15 and got diagnosed with chiari malformation, a congenital brain malformation that gave me side effects such as dizziness, confusion, headaches, and fever. My brain is too big for my skull and pressing on my spinal fluid by my spine so part of my skull was taken out to relieve pressure. It was a 50% chance it would be a success. Over time my body got used to the medication I was on and some of the meds made me lose so much weight I had to stop my seizure meds because they made me lose too much weight. I was always self conscious of my boobs or lack there of. Posing was awkward for me and I wasn’t very proud of myself. But when I started modeling for sg I started realizing that I was original and no one else looked like me so I embraced it and started seeing myself the way others saw me as well. Feeling accepted was so nice and I never felt judged by anyone about my condition or my weight. My family always made me feel like it wa my fault I’m sick a lot or skinny. Lately the past year I quit a lot of the medication I was on. I t was extremely hard. I ended up having seizures because of withdrawals and I ended up quoting 5 schedule 2 drugs cold turkey because I was tired of feeling controlled. So almost 8 months later I’m about 40 lbs heavier. I use to weight 89 lbs. nNow im so much healthier and happier but I couldn’t help but feel self conscious a bit because I’ve never weighed this much in my life. I felt supported here when I was myself and the weight I was at. But now it’s like I did a 180 and feel like a different person. Idk why but I’ve been feeling very self conscious about having a normal weight and I wanted to write about here first because this is something I wanted to share with you all. Can any of you relate?
@missy @penny
