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sparkle

Hattiesburg

SG Since 2002

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Wednesday Apr 28, 2004

Apr 27, 2004
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I really don't update this thing as often as I would like. I suppose this is a consequence of mainting a job, school, and two other blogz0rz.

Nothing exciting to report on, really...same complaints, et cetera. This is the last week of school, hip hip hooray. Next week is exams which translates into makeup work and essays that I need to catch up on. You would think I could learn to not procrastinate so goddamn much after so much college, but nah...not me!

Whiney goth girl ramblings: I have this sneaking suspicion that my existance can bring only pain. Forever I am doomed to fuck up and not do things which make the important people in my life proud (which probably includes this site, but oh fucking well) The intention is there, the goals are in place, but the drive is lost and my life seems utterly worthless compared to those of my peers.

Going to funerals makes me get all contemplative. Recently, a person who I know that was rather young (26) shot himself in the head. His life had affected so many people. I can't help but wonder if my life would really touch anyone like his had did. This particular person wasn't even a high school graduate, but he had family and friends who cared.

Recently, the drama that I had mentioned about being fearful of my life had almost realized itself. The other roommate did not even bother to check up on me to see if anything had happened and that angered me somewhat. I could have been dead for all he knew and he didn't do anything to try to stop it. That bothers me. Ah well, what can you do. I guess I shouldn't be such a horrible roommate.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
redcrayon:
don't we all secretly wish to take that "it's a wonderful life" walk? to know that at least someone needed us alone?

-redcrayonkelly

[Edited on May 10, 2004 3:21AM]
May 9, 2004
sweetbeats:
in reference to your whiney goth girl rambling (haha); the part about your life being utterly worthless compared to your peers is absolutely not true at all, my dear friend. every single person in this world is still here for a reason - if youre here, alive and kicking RIGHT NOW, youre doing something productive and worthwhile. comparing yourself to others is deceiving. you aren't like them, don't have the same plans as them, therefor, it is impossible to even compare 2 people and decide WHO in fact, is doing something 'better' with their lives. we all are in different ways, no matter how hard it is to see that. keep your head up pretty girl...it's not so bad. youre in school, working a job...all that. youre achieving very much. wink
May 16, 2004

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