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I am writing the tip sheet for a book I'm editing. It's far more difficult than I thought it would be. It is also boring as all get up. I wish I got payed to do this.
I am listening to "No More Shall We Part" which is not my favorite Nick Cave album, but I am getting to like her 'newer' stuff and think,...
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iggy:
Oh. my. god. take a picture.
iggy:
just take the bloody picture.
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Everything came with the smell of brown sugar. There was a pompous beating of fists and drums in that dark room: the tenuous connections of youth made solid by circumstance, like boulders about to topple from a cliff, held on only by the dieing roots of a plant, or the awkward jitterbug of running, accidentally, into someone known in another life. Bartops were pounded to...
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I drove to Vermont with my mother yesterday. A friend is going to watch Nadja for a few months until I have a place of my own. Vermont was unimaginably sad. I lived there for about four years. We all lived in a house down the hill from school and went to the caf every morning to drown our hangovers and ringing ears in coffee...
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Im tired. Im tired of everything I do feeling like an uphill battle against money, against memory, against my own better judgment. Im just tired. Im tired of communication and of the lack of communication. The other night, like a switch was hit, I went into a hibernation of sorts. I dont feel any differently about my life or anything in it, but all I...
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fenianone:
i know exactly how you feel. i just can't express it through words like that. i'm exhausted and society has failed humanity.
fenianone:
thanx for the recomendation. i will have to check it out.
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Through the windswept coastal trees, where the dead come rising from the sea, with a teddy bear clamped between her knees she says Where can my loverman be?

The most amazing storm clouds came suddenly at work. I hung out the drive through window to look to see if a customer had pulled around and my hat was blown near clear of the parking lot....
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signalnoise:
i was in providence this spring, and i sort of dug it. it felt very new englad - old and lots of character and stuff. but with enough people that it was still sort of cool.
fenianone:
man, hot. you should try this god foresaken place. they say "its a dry heat". yea cause it is so fucking hot all the water in a hnudred mile radius has fucking evaporated and long since vanished. i fell your pain. i am in a similar stuation, regarding the whole indecision ting..... i have nothing. no answers. what i do is ignore. i am a pro at pretending nothing is wrong and putting off the inevitable(i wish i could ucking spell). go where your heart takes you, so long as you are true to it.
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Last night I suddenly woke up whistling. I know in my dream I was in a large room with stone walls, a church or some sort of old building. I remember there was a breeze. I had a melody from the middle of a Godspeed! song stuck in my head and whistled it absently. My friend Alix, amusedly, as though I shouldnt know at all,...
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This is going to be a very wank-heavy post. I'm sorry. Sometimes I give a shit about the people reading this, sometimes I just want a good whinge.

I'm sunburned, and not good enough. I move around too much, Tara told me, like a nervous ant. I twitch randomly and constantly worry. If I'm perfectly content I'll invent something to worry about. I can't tell...
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fenianone:
what a place for us to be on a saturday night.
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Everything is slipping. I feel like the back of my head is being hit by an opening drawer full of letters while my feet are resting on a conveyor belt moving toward a hole in the ground. Im being alternately pushed and pulled in differing directions simply because I cannot decide what I should do.
I know what I have to do, but each day...
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fenianone:
for me, most of the time i feel that i am just biding my time til that day i am done with this constant struggle. some people just don't understand why i am the way i am. i call my self hyperaware. i see everything. analyzing and realizing that i dont feel like everyone else, in that, i am not self centerred, i believe in common respect among human beings. my way of dealing with all of this is to just shut down. stay home and seperate from everyone, becoming numb. the tatoos give me something to look forward to and in the pain i find a sense of heightening, the nerves pushed to their limit. impulses looding the brain, and as i am trying to figure out why pain is what it is, mind over matter, i think to myself that if i force myself to not feel this physical pain, i can force myself to not feel the other pains in my life. i think that is the best way i can explain it.
rizzo:
hell yeah! come in today and fill out an application, I'll be there. however, the manager won't be in until monday...it's worth a shot.

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I spend the morning applying for jobs I wont get, don't deserve, and don't want.
I spend the afternoon walking into each store I can find to ask for applications.
I spend the night changing my resume back and forth so that I'd done nothing by the end, like a Stalinist productivity trick.

I want a drink and to go out with people. I want...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
iggy:
rizzo:
KB Toys at the Wakefield Mall is hiring!!! but thewn again, you'd hafta deal with me telling you what to do. Waldenbooks is probably hiring too.... then again, retail blows. but when you need a job real bad, it's the best place to look.
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Erased for tedium's sake.
iggy:
So I am assuming it did't go well this morning? Thats ok youre too good for that anyway.

You'll get a job soon hon. Hell, you've applied to a million places!

kiss