solisis

Its a gaze and a rather malignant growth, this unnatural feel. Or rather, I should say natural since its all in the nature of the given in question. One might suspect, due to the excessive force of his grunt and a misproportioned stain of trance he carries on his shoulders of glass. A soulder tortured by the stench of responsibility. Aside the point, he mentioned he loves her later in the day of grey sinking into the lowers of the dark suture of his unavoidable death. sealed in the heart of bliss, the bliss that is this love saturated pursuit of relation unlike anything known to the raging gun that he once was. He never did leave that state, as you might have surmised. Reside the point, a destructive force forever a resident of another field of pain. You know the sort since the fool denies a certain degree of complexity to their lives. Even the most simplistic of individuals posesses a formula of degradation in their shells as they plummit to another level of sadness in their not so existances. I, myself, am no exception.
It occurred me this night, as I spent the minutes in the lower end of the spectrum, provided there is such a thing, that I really do love this angel. The one in front of me 24 hours a day, 1440 minutes a day, 86,400 seconds a day and so on and so forth forever and ever, amen. I love this girl like the lust for firepower within me. A rather undying attachment to a blistering cold of bursting shells and explosive nature. Not to say that Im violent. I just like my reality a little more than the actual reality that surrounds me on a day to day basis. Again, reside the point, I love her past the docks of a natural repeal. I mean, there is no turning back from commitment, right? When you love someone you are indirectly saying you could easily invision yourself spending the rest of your natural life with them until the inevitable separates your physical bodies and isolates you forever in the spanning tomb of depression and lonliness. This is provided that you havent reached the point where physical contact is necessary. It all depends, really. I know the burn. You know the burn. We all do. Admit it. I think I would drop dead if not for the fact that she exists.
So amidst the chaos of everyday ordinances I remain in longing for her companionship. The seal of approval from a court of discrepant powers. Odd as that might seem. Who knew you could turn the mind of something lost so deeply in a state of conviction bent on shutting out the contrast of reality. This would be me, of course. I am not the sort to love since I will not love you back.
But I love her. And for her I will love her back.
You know the feeling, dont you? The one that says you will not be the status quo. That is, the evident status quo since I dont believe status quo actually refers to the assumed expectations of the populace, but rather the implementation of assured statements failed and trampled by the unfortunate assholitude of about 90% of the people consuming this would be green earth. So what Im saying is that once in a great while you insist you will not be the raging asshole that most people are or will become, that you will love someone indefinitely and without failure to provide understanding and patience. The feeling that you are satisfied with the responsibility to remain faithful and accept the leniency of release should you, yourself, fail to provide full faith on your end, and grant the release willingly if you act negatively- accepting the self inflicted change of nature and destruction of your perfect image of life as you knew it. Not that this should happen, by any means but that you are obligated to love someone without fail and be everything you can be for them.
I want to say I can, but Im so much of a boy that I dont even trust myself to be everything I need to be to love someone in return..
Lord listen to me.
I really love her. I swear I do.