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As per the request of many SG members at last night's soiree, (esp the lovely Ava, who gave me a kiss on the neck!) i'll update. She said, "You can't let the journal end that way" so...I won't. I'll rewrite the end of this journal. Can't storm off being the psycho-girl that I hate dating.

Post-Adventures of the Bionic Femme

Heartbroken, after uttering those confounded...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
volkov:
*HUG!*

missed ya.

ack. this purifying process you're forced through...

I don't really know what all to say, but I'm still yer friend out here in the electrospace. hopefully in person sometime.

I still think yer amazing.
take care. and email me your email, so I can keep in touch after your SG runs out. (you are going to let it run out?)

*HUG!*

ever and always,

D
lighthammer:
GODDAMMIT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKING WORRIED IVE BEEN ABOUT YOU!?!?!?? ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEARTATTACK?!?!?!? DONT EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
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(see previous journal) a lot of the right half of my face is covered in blood.

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I never never never never want to hear another girl tell me Much Obliged is a cute romantic story because it's a piece of shit with no reward and I lived it.

Fucking lived it.

So now I have to try to figure out how to stop...
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VIEW 25 of 39 COMMENTS
desidia:
you're missed.
dave_h:
good to see you last night. smile
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It ISN'T fair!

I can't forget you! You don't remember me! You're fucking THE NEW GIRL!

Why does my life have to be this way? I don't want to date burglars, or psychos, and i'm done with that! But I don't want anybody else! I just want you!!!!

Am I a horrible person if I wish for you to be happy, as long as i'm...
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kludog:
hey, so your entry in the hookup page, looked interesting so here i am replying.
i think that you have made some valid points. No you are totally not a horrible person for wanting that. that is actually nice, most ppl are only concerned with their own happiness, regardless of how others feel.
i also think that you are normal but you are in a difficult dilemna. dating sucks right now. join the sg dating sucks group! being duped is not good.
just learn the signs of being duped, and the warning signs of psycho burgulars, and stay far away from them. i think ppl tell you everything that you want to know and often more just by the way they say things.
well anyway good luck!
demigauge:
dude...chill life isn't that bad it's just san francisco....seriously i think you need to relocate as soon as possible...somewhere you could be comfortable in your own skin....and not consatntly wanting to crawl out of it and into somewhere else....i don't know what girls you've been around ..but from what i hvae seen ...touched kissed..and talked you..you great....you like the best match girl wise for me i have found so far...cause you witty...you don't down play me..or act like i am the dumbest thing in the world(which sometimes i can be)...you treat me well..there for i respond with treating you very well...forget all the people and the demons that are hurting you..their in the past and can't hurt you anymore....your free of them...their nothing but dust and a memory...nothing more...nothing less...don't let them haunt and controll you...i have been there and still there sometimes..and i know you better and stronger than that...you kid gentle...loving..you a diamond in the rough.....and so much more....
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So basically I got kicked out of nonuglylesbians.com. smile This stupid girl made a flash animation of a dog kicking a piece of crap at me and it said "Rejected" so I wrote:

Oh no! You've mocked my tally and added a "crappy" animation of a dog taking a shit!

Oh fie! Now nobody will ever ask me to the big gay prom! Is Celene Dion...
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schleprock:
I don't believe how rude some people are. Geesh.

Ouch. coathanger.
lighthammer:
::LOL:: I love to watch your work..you've got quite a vicious wit and tongue, able to strip the skin off anyone's bone who dares to anger you.

Remind me to ALWASY stay on your good side. smile
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I hate being in love.

It is pointless and stupid to be in love with someone who does not love you back and does not appreciate your love or grant it any value, at all.

And it sucks to know that the one you love not only does not care, but sleeps peacefully in the arms of some woman who is more capable than you...
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demigauge:
what your not mean...just not there when i call hehekiss

but i do look forward to hopefully seeing you sometime this summer
emperor_tane:
I love that journal entry. It is so filled with emotion and pain wrapped in truth and originality. I am moved by your writings..

I hope you find that special someone that will value your creative mind and compassionate heart.

Tanewhatever

[Edited on Jun 18, 2003]
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Foolish and I went to Haight. She supported me while a very jolly man lanced the top of my ear with a long rod of metal and we went to Kid Robot and she helped me pick out the coolest model robot with the biggest guns to build. We went for tea afterwards and the barista said, "Is he a nice robot?" and I said...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
demigauge:
i see he monky isdoing better..which is a good thing
you need to send me apicture this new piering okey dokey?
i might cal you tonight just to chit chat and what not
bluefreak:
i have plenty of baseball bats....ill give ya one and ill help ya plan an asualt attack on your neigbores. best thing to do is when they are sleeping gt the most annoying music you have and just BLAST it and make them hate you just as much as you hate them. it worked for me i made my neigbores move *Laughs with a sadisticly evil grin*
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I'm sorry, i'm about to put holes in my body with Foolish, but I wrote my little sister an IM and got back the following away message:

"see it there in pieces on the screen..." (Her quote)

Do you listen to yourself? Never live for someone else. Do you like the way you feel? Nothing hurts when no one's real. She wants to shake this...
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volkov:
" she's so cool...she gets it from her sister"

I think you'll definitly be one of the best influences your sister gets to have....no pressure. smile

my cat's latest thing is sticking his whole head inside my basketball shoes to smell them...I woke up to him crying cause he'd gotten his head stuck and he was rolling around on the floor trying to get this black basketball shoe off his head. He gave me a mean look when I stopped laughing long enough to pull it away.

that was weird...I was gone and then I was not gone.

anyhow...HOLES? you and foolish is gettin' holy?
startin a cult, eh?

ummmm. can I join?

*HUGS!*

v
chirex:
What holes?

Heh. my little sister never talks to me nowadays. so sarcastic is she.
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I had an oddly nostalgic day today, where I thought of each of the girls I have ever dated and played all of the old mixtapes they have given me as gifts. I tried to be positive and think of all of the things these girls have ever done to make me smile, and so I did smile. And I also came to the conclusion...
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onefoolishline:
i say uncle too, see:

UNCLE blackeyed


let's go put holes in our bodies. biggrin
juliana:
oh, things are just fine, sweetie. thanks for your concern.

hey, i see you gettin your flirt on ... aincha tryin ta get yourself off pretty lesbians?

...tsk!!! i caught you! smile
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I AM NOT A BABY DUCK!

I AM A GROWN WOMAN!!!

What's with all this "cute" and "not hot" stuff?

Jesus. I know I look like the type of girl you would like to pat on the head and buy an ice cream, but

I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THE GIRL YOU HAVE SEX WITH!!!!

Thank you. That is all.
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volkov:
baby duck?

I've met you in person and I hold to the previous statements that I think you definitly fall into the "foxy" category and even that exclusive catagory that is rather outdated but goes under the name "boss"


onefoolishline:
i heard. i just got home from work...i'm sooooooooooo tired.

someone rub my mutherfucking feet.
somethings and stuff might be going down this weekend. give me a call tomorrow be my day off.
ooooog.
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AIM Quote of the night: "I want a wife like O...but gay."
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bionicfemme:
Must...perfect...isoteric homo beam...
mike11:
I was on that site to vote for you but i am not sure if I did. Do I have to be a member ? If not do you just click "lick it ". I did that but I am not sure if it did anything.
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Reflection and meditation for the day:

As always, I'm not a pretty girl, just a tough one. I guess that is the core to being a Bionic Femme. I don't rely on beauty, I rely on fierce edge and power. Girls never really like me for my face anyway; they just like me for the stuff I write or the way I woo them.

Guess...
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olivia:
"oh." means DONT GO I LOVE YOU
olivia:
what's the deal, femmey-poos, you must be only seeing the negative reactions because i saw yes after yes after compliment after yes.

and who cares if a handful of people don't think you're up to their standards of beauty - we all judge each other, that's how we find the right person for us. forget the h8rs and talk to those that think you're hawwwttt. they're the ones that are right and the ones you should be listening to.

NOW LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER.

i will not hear any more of this crap about you not being a hot sexy bitch. you know you are, i know you do. all this half-hearted crap trying to accept that you're not beautiful, it's crap and half-hearted because even you know it's not true.

okay so now it's time to revel in your awesomeness and hotttttness and not take any shit from women that are not the one for you. for gods sake, you're 21. give it some time. we all have to wade through the rock till we get to the diamonds.

ok far too long. anyway. it had to be said.

[Edited on Jun 16, 2003]
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So far I am losing... frown Well, I guess it was my fault for applying to the site, right? Sigh. Let's face it. I'm not really cute at all, I just get chicks because i'm an insane artist and that means you HAVE to get girls at least once in a while, especially if you wear a beret. Damn my "exotic" face. Edit: I applied to...
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evillyn:
You applied to the site and didn't get accepted??!?? That is so insane. Can i just send you a monthly check and you can keep me stocked in naked pictures, cuz you are unbelievably gorgeous. And if you leave I'm gonna miss you. you are so entertaining. You bore? I could sit here and read a long detailed account of what you ate for breakfast, and I would be rapt. Lordy you're hot. And entertaing.
olivia:
oh.