I think I'm gonna stick a fork in the whole online dating thing.
It really doesn't suit me I think. It's more based on the knee-jerk reaction of appearances and as such I don't have what it takes to be popular. Oh don't get me wrong this isn't a "woe is me look how fugly I am" type of blog. I'm at peace with not being the most handsome, most svelte, most trim and proper man in the room. I wouldn't want to be. Imagine living a life where you're not sure if people are interested in you for what's outside or what's inside. Horrible. Possessing a rather mediocre exterior makes that a lot easier; I know I'm being liked because I'm a kick ass person. And that makes me happier than being called handsome or hot or whatever ladies call the pretty folk. Happier because I had to work to cultivate a personality, a sense of humor, and an overall pleasant demeanor. And those are the traits that people really value in the long run and help to create friendships, love, and bonds that last.
My mood has been very variable as of late. Just too many things on my plate as of late and not enough ways to line them all up so the peas don't touch the gravy and whatnot. I've been noticing during my dour times that I point a lot of my exterior issues at myself. I take the external stress and turn it back upon myself in the form of internal worries, doubts, and bad memories that cut at my mood stability like a cheap pocketknife. But I'm learning to realize that these episodes are what they are when they are.
One thing I've been sad about is experiencing a friend move on. Not physically leaving, but drifting away from the old gang to a new pack of friends and in the process snubbing those that used to close. Such drift is something I've been thinking of lately even if it makes me sad often. I understand that sometimes we lose friends in the course of life, but to have them actively brush you and your attempts at friendship off really is a saddening experience. I suppose I may be more sensitive to such things given my anxiety problems and experiences with rejection, but I think such things would probably effect the stone-hearted just as much.
Perhaps I just don't understand people, society, or how it all really works. Perhaps no-one does.
It really doesn't suit me I think. It's more based on the knee-jerk reaction of appearances and as such I don't have what it takes to be popular. Oh don't get me wrong this isn't a "woe is me look how fugly I am" type of blog. I'm at peace with not being the most handsome, most svelte, most trim and proper man in the room. I wouldn't want to be. Imagine living a life where you're not sure if people are interested in you for what's outside or what's inside. Horrible. Possessing a rather mediocre exterior makes that a lot easier; I know I'm being liked because I'm a kick ass person. And that makes me happier than being called handsome or hot or whatever ladies call the pretty folk. Happier because I had to work to cultivate a personality, a sense of humor, and an overall pleasant demeanor. And those are the traits that people really value in the long run and help to create friendships, love, and bonds that last.
My mood has been very variable as of late. Just too many things on my plate as of late and not enough ways to line them all up so the peas don't touch the gravy and whatnot. I've been noticing during my dour times that I point a lot of my exterior issues at myself. I take the external stress and turn it back upon myself in the form of internal worries, doubts, and bad memories that cut at my mood stability like a cheap pocketknife. But I'm learning to realize that these episodes are what they are when they are.
One thing I've been sad about is experiencing a friend move on. Not physically leaving, but drifting away from the old gang to a new pack of friends and in the process snubbing those that used to close. Such drift is something I've been thinking of lately even if it makes me sad often. I understand that sometimes we lose friends in the course of life, but to have them actively brush you and your attempts at friendship off really is a saddening experience. I suppose I may be more sensitive to such things given my anxiety problems and experiences with rejection, but I think such things would probably effect the stone-hearted just as much.
Perhaps I just don't understand people, society, or how it all really works. Perhaps no-one does.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
notoriouscat:
+1
thistle:
Hahahah I love Ron Swanson.