the following is not pleasant. however, it's all true.
drinking alcohol while in a nicotine fit is a terrible thing for me to do, especially in front of one of the docs who actually likes me. tonight the following things came out of my mouth while in a prolonged, harried rant.
"i fucking hate people."
"if you want sympathy, it's in the dictionary between 'shit' and 'syphilis'."
"i love my life now. i wake up at 8 AM. . . jerk off. . .go to class. . .hit the gym. . .go home. . .jerk off again. . .clean the apartment. it's great."
"i never had any desire to help people or save the world. when i came to medical school i wanted to have fun. now i want to have fun and drive a BMW."
"i don't believe in altruism. i think Jesus had ulterior motives."
"meth is so declass."
said rant was merely a symptom. . .an outward representation of a central problem.
i can't decide what i need more, someone to adore and understand me or someone to fuck me regularly. i've all but given up on finding both.
i'm pent up and pissed off 24/7. i feel like i need to start over completely. how can i get closure on the last 27 years? religion has failed me. drugs and sex have been interesting distractions at best. love is a the sum of smoke-and-mirrors and good timing. intellectual pursuits are nothing but mental masturbation. if it wasn't for my arrogance and intense contempt for my fellow man, i'd consider martyrdom.
comment, god dammit. i need input.
drinking alcohol while in a nicotine fit is a terrible thing for me to do, especially in front of one of the docs who actually likes me. tonight the following things came out of my mouth while in a prolonged, harried rant.
"i fucking hate people."
"if you want sympathy, it's in the dictionary between 'shit' and 'syphilis'."
"i love my life now. i wake up at 8 AM. . . jerk off. . .go to class. . .hit the gym. . .go home. . .jerk off again. . .clean the apartment. it's great."
"i never had any desire to help people or save the world. when i came to medical school i wanted to have fun. now i want to have fun and drive a BMW."
"i don't believe in altruism. i think Jesus had ulterior motives."
"meth is so declass."
said rant was merely a symptom. . .an outward representation of a central problem.
i can't decide what i need more, someone to adore and understand me or someone to fuck me regularly. i've all but given up on finding both.
i'm pent up and pissed off 24/7. i feel like i need to start over completely. how can i get closure on the last 27 years? religion has failed me. drugs and sex have been interesting distractions at best. love is a the sum of smoke-and-mirrors and good timing. intellectual pursuits are nothing but mental masturbation. if it wasn't for my arrogance and intense contempt for my fellow man, i'd consider martyrdom.
comment, god dammit. i need input.
Point being, you must choose between the two, but your choice doesn't really matter...Sex is boring too...
You went to medical school to have fun? I've never heard that one before. Medical school seems like hell, not fun.
"if you want sympathy, it's in the dictionary between 'shit' and 'syphilis'." -- I like that one.