skywisdom

I had my final shift of training as a server last night, watched over by the wonderful Jad Z. It went well, even when all the other servers were cut and the restaurant filled up, leaving me with 11 tables to myself (normally, for you uneducated few, servers have 5-6).
A girl at a table asked me if anyone ever told me I looked like...
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God, I'm on here alot. And it's not even as if I spend all my time perusing the images of nude young ladies, more than half the time I'm hanging out in my groups and blogging. I do it way more than Myspace.
I'm trying to keep pushing with this writing thing. It's really late though and I don't know if I can express myself...
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I went to help my grandparents pack their belongings yesterday morning, with my dad. They are moving into a retirement home. I stood on the back porch of the house my grandfather built thirty-five years ago, and looked down the hill over rural Gresham and farther on to the bare sloops of Mt. Hood, and realized I was staring at a view I had grown...
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I'm tired.
I'm tired of being broken up with by the girl I love
I'm tired of being hit by a car
I'm tired of dealing with 18,000$ medical bills, insurance companies, and the police
I'm tired of working in a high-stress restaurant
I'm tired of trying to move
I'm tired of the heat

It's like having the rug jerked out from underneath you. She's...
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Um...ok...terrified and confused.
My ex, who I just wrote about in my previous journal (all about how much I missed her) is still in love with me, and admitted that everyone she had been with since we broke up has just been trying to replicate what we had. We spent all last night making out in her bed while her brother baby-sitted her stoned sister...
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Sigh....I am so STUPID. I find a couple of her hairs that managed to stick around on the couch in my bedroom, and that leads to me looking at some pictures of us from last summer, and a bunch of emotions I thought I had moved past a month ago come slamming into my gut again. I guess broken hearts don't heal as quickly as...
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So I got ONE of my hospital bills. Just one, not the other one, and possibly not AMR, I don't know if they bill seperately or not. But...as it stands, for two nights in the hospital, some scans, and a trip to the trauma ward:
$14,789.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAJESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!
THat's insane.
Thank GOD for Medical Insurance (and Tri-Met)!
And I still have one more hospital...
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My buffy DVDs finally came!
Good think I'm stuck at home as it is, cause now I have a perfectly valid excuse for not haaving a life.

It's not the day to day pain that sucks, it's waking up at 5am every morning to muscle spasms so intense I have to fight back the urge to vomit and jump into the shower for 25 minutes until they subside.
That and living in my mom's basement for the last week, leaving the house ONCE and only for about a ten minute trip to...
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So I'm biking home on Saturday night from work, and I decide that I need to stop by my friends house to pick up my zippo i had left there a week ealier. I'm figuring it won't take more than ten minutes, which I was very wrong about, as I finally got home about 30 minutes ago. This is because, on my way back from...
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