So my best friends are going to have a baby. This is not unexpected at all, as they are newly married and Mormon, but even so it's a tough idea to wrap my head around. They've already taken to calling me Uncle, which I'm not sure I'd be comfortable hearing even from my blood-relations. It's exciting I suppose, and I am happy for them, since it seems that this is what they want.
I think about these kinds of things though, and I just can't picutre where my life is supposed to go from here. J&B are both younger than me, yet they got married and are starting a family. And here I am, without any to call my own and no plans for the future. Maybe in the short term I'll be happier for it, if only because if you have no expectations you can't really be disappointed, but in the end it will catch up to me. I'm going to wind up alone in a dark room full of memories of a life squandered for meaningless sex and vodka. There's a certain anger and depression that comes from having to admit to yourself that your best years of your life are behind you, and that you've stopped growing and started dying.
I think about these kinds of things though, and I just can't picutre where my life is supposed to go from here. J&B are both younger than me, yet they got married and are starting a family. And here I am, without any to call my own and no plans for the future. Maybe in the short term I'll be happier for it, if only because if you have no expectations you can't really be disappointed, but in the end it will catch up to me. I'm going to wind up alone in a dark room full of memories of a life squandered for meaningless sex and vodka. There's a certain anger and depression that comes from having to admit to yourself that your best years of your life are behind you, and that you've stopped growing and started dying.
Honestly the uncertainty of the future is exciting for me. Granted the carefree days are over, but now I can slow down more and appreciate everything around me.