I just commented in Audio's journal, and it just makes me think of how much I miss someone. Everyone I let into my world takes a chunk, leaves happy, and me destroyed.
Who is this someone? She's been different over time. Today it was someone I was recently making plans with, told me she was falling in love with me, and jet for some guy who picked her up in a bar. I let her inside and it hurt immesureably when she did that.
Last night, out of nowhere, she tells me she was weepy over some emails I sent her. We talked every day, about the most very important things in life, shit no one talks about because they're too busy being someone else. God how I miss that. And her smile and sense of humor, and everything about her.
Fuck it though. Perhaps should our paths had met at different times in our lives, things would have been different. But now I'm back in my own personal Wonka Factory, where no one ever comes in, and no one ever goes out.
The last 6 years of heartbreak have been too much. Left at an altar, left when I wasn't there, left on a romantic vacation. Only once because I was wrong, and I miss her the most, I was able to give her the most, and I did exactly the opposite for 5 years.
I'm sick of it. As I sit and face something life threatening here (if you know me, you know), all I can do is wish I could show the world how much I love everyone so much. Painfully so.
Who is this someone? She's been different over time. Today it was someone I was recently making plans with, told me she was falling in love with me, and jet for some guy who picked her up in a bar. I let her inside and it hurt immesureably when she did that.
Last night, out of nowhere, she tells me she was weepy over some emails I sent her. We talked every day, about the most very important things in life, shit no one talks about because they're too busy being someone else. God how I miss that. And her smile and sense of humor, and everything about her.
Fuck it though. Perhaps should our paths had met at different times in our lives, things would have been different. But now I'm back in my own personal Wonka Factory, where no one ever comes in, and no one ever goes out.
The last 6 years of heartbreak have been too much. Left at an altar, left when I wasn't there, left on a romantic vacation. Only once because I was wrong, and I miss her the most, I was able to give her the most, and I did exactly the opposite for 5 years.
I'm sick of it. As I sit and face something life threatening here (if you know me, you know), all I can do is wish I could show the world how much I love everyone so much. Painfully so.
i'm here.