I put a few more demons behind me today. My parents are in the 4th day of their visit, and its not painful to be around them anymore. Over the past two years, Ive completed the entire ritual of establishing myself as the adult in our relationship and earning their respect. But more importantly, on this trip I was able to tell my mother how much she hurt me during the years that she refused to respect her sons because I was a punk rock freak, and my brother was gay. The year I graduated law school, all she saw in me was a FREAK with piercings and tattoos, and my brother wasnt a thriving professional to her, he was a FAG. I told her today that I dont harbor any bitterness, but that I dont buy her excuses. I told her that I love her, and I realize that she is the one who has moved on to a more enlightened position, but I cant pretend she didnt hurt me. There were no tears just the communication and understanding that life offers as a remedy to all wounds, as long as we are honest enough to face them.
It feels very good. Im finally square with my parents. My anger is no longer fighting with my love. The healing has been gradual, but today I pulled off the bandage and saw that there wasnt a scar. I have cleared the slate on that relationship, and I feel great about it. It may be sad that it took so long, but I feel so lucky that Ive reached this point.
It feels very good. Im finally square with my parents. My anger is no longer fighting with my love. The healing has been gradual, but today I pulled off the bandage and saw that there wasnt a scar. I have cleared the slate on that relationship, and I feel great about it. It may be sad that it took so long, but I feel so lucky that Ive reached this point.
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I'd like to think tht my positive experience might leave you open to the idea that you might one day have a similar one -- but based on your recent posts, you don't seem to be looking for a healing thing right now. I respect that. Anger is a wonderfully seductive ally, and one who has served me well. THere are times to betray her, but she and you may not be finished with each other right now.
[Edited on May 28, 2003]
My trembling sister strove to urge her flight;
Yet first the pardon of the Nymphs implor'd,
And those offended Sylvan pow'rs ador'd:
But when she backward would have fled, she found
Her stiff'ning feet were rooted to the ground:
In vain to free her fasten'd feet she strove,
And as she struggles only moves above;
She feels th' incroaching bark around her grow,
By slow degrees, and cover all below:
Surpriz'd at this, her trembling hand she heaves
To rend her hair; her hand is fill'd with leaves;
Where late was hair, the shooting leaves are seen
To rise, and shade her with a sudden green.
The Child Amphisus, to her bosom prest,
Perceiv'd a colder and a harder breast,
And found the springs, that n'er 'till then deny'd
Their milky moisture, on a sudden dry'd.
I saw, unhappy, what I now relate,
And stood the helpless witness of thy fate;
Embrac'd thy boughs, the rising bark delay'd,
There wish'd to grow, and mingle shade with shade.
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Bwahahahahaha, no, my dear Sin, the Marquis has not the pen for such words...
*evilly cocks eyebrow and tents fingers*
care for another guess?
ps, you'll probably NEVER get it, it's way too obscure(and, no, that's not a challege, per se)