It feels so weird to have money for once, wow.
Of course, I'll be getting all my bills in in the next week, and that'll kill that.
I'm considering getting a second job, but I can't think of where I'd like to work that could hire me part time and work around my schedule at Macy's. I mean, I could easily go back to McAlister's, and I considered it to help Rob out in paying back his grandma (he owes her a lot)... but I hate it there so much, I don't think I'm going to risk my mental health again.
So now I need to figure out where I can apply to work. I mean, at Macy's I get 9-10 hour shifts, generally. But I also get two days off... but I already feel like I have no time... so I dunno. I thought about applying at the local daycare... I mean, I could walk to it, it's so close, but I think it'd be impossible to work my Macy's schedule around it.
Then I need to figure out what kind of school I'll be attending and get on that so I can start school by fall. I either want to go into cosmetology school (there's one 15 minutes from my house), or else go back to the local community college and just take a couple classes a semester, and talk to the advisors about what careers I'm interested in, at the moment.
Rob and I had an upsetting talk last night, he didn't feel any better about us after the visit... he still has feelings for me and loves me, he doesn't think he's in-love with me... but he told me he doesn't think it's how he's supposed to feel. I still think it's the whole not being in puppy love is confusing to him, especially as I'm his first girlfriend. I was so sick, whenever I think we're going to break up I go into shut-down mode and my body starts killing itself... in all seriousness. I'm hoping he feels like at the start of a relationship, and we can work it out. I was thinking about it, I've been acting like his mother for some time... he said how talking to me doesn't make him feel better when he's upset like it used to... that's 'cause I always bring up shit that upsets him, or I get in a fight with him, or I'm bitchy, or telling him how to live. I want to be his partner, but right now I'm more like a dictator, and if I don't get my way I pout. But I do act like his mother... or mine, especially as his mother didn't really play the maternal role at all. I can't stand my mother, no wonder he has trouble dealing with me. But he really is important to me, and I want this to work out... I'm hoping by recognizing when I'm being motherly/smothering and being a bitch I'll be able to stop and maybe his feelings will come out of hiding.
Of course, I'll be getting all my bills in in the next week, and that'll kill that.
I'm considering getting a second job, but I can't think of where I'd like to work that could hire me part time and work around my schedule at Macy's. I mean, I could easily go back to McAlister's, and I considered it to help Rob out in paying back his grandma (he owes her a lot)... but I hate it there so much, I don't think I'm going to risk my mental health again.
So now I need to figure out where I can apply to work. I mean, at Macy's I get 9-10 hour shifts, generally. But I also get two days off... but I already feel like I have no time... so I dunno. I thought about applying at the local daycare... I mean, I could walk to it, it's so close, but I think it'd be impossible to work my Macy's schedule around it.
Then I need to figure out what kind of school I'll be attending and get on that so I can start school by fall. I either want to go into cosmetology school (there's one 15 minutes from my house), or else go back to the local community college and just take a couple classes a semester, and talk to the advisors about what careers I'm interested in, at the moment.
Rob and I had an upsetting talk last night, he didn't feel any better about us after the visit... he still has feelings for me and loves me, he doesn't think he's in-love with me... but he told me he doesn't think it's how he's supposed to feel. I still think it's the whole not being in puppy love is confusing to him, especially as I'm his first girlfriend. I was so sick, whenever I think we're going to break up I go into shut-down mode and my body starts killing itself... in all seriousness. I'm hoping he feels like at the start of a relationship, and we can work it out. I was thinking about it, I've been acting like his mother for some time... he said how talking to me doesn't make him feel better when he's upset like it used to... that's 'cause I always bring up shit that upsets him, or I get in a fight with him, or I'm bitchy, or telling him how to live. I want to be his partner, but right now I'm more like a dictator, and if I don't get my way I pout. But I do act like his mother... or mine, especially as his mother didn't really play the maternal role at all. I can't stand my mother, no wonder he has trouble dealing with me. But he really is important to me, and I want this to work out... I'm hoping by recognizing when I'm being motherly/smothering and being a bitch I'll be able to stop and maybe his feelings will come out of hiding.
wyldewolfe:
hope you get both the school and personal issues straightened out