Haha, except it wasn't a date at all. Oh well.
I talked to Rob last night, we're dating again...although I feel I badgered him into it. But surely he wouldn't have agreed to try to make things work out if he's not going to, or just 'cause I kept asking and trying to coax him... I mean, he could've just cut me out... he said he was doing it for me, but he has a tendency to make things sound harsher than he means, so I could see it being he admits part of him wants to see if it works out. I asked what he had to lose by trying to work things out, his response was nothing... I asked why he wouldn't give me a second chance, he said he still felt like it was maybe he loves me but isn't in love with me. I can go into my rant on that again, how I think it's that he's in love with me but doesn't love me, since I find it hard to see somebody falling out of love with somebody so quickly whom they'd been in love with for almost 3 years... but I won't... besides that. Haha. I'd been so confident that once I got him to agree to work it out things would be alright, now I'm like "Oh fuck, things aren't exactly as I pictured them." So... I've just gotta force myself to have a positive attitude, even when negative thoughts creep into my head.
As soon as he agreed I'll admit, part of me was like "Now you can't make out with Zach or any other guys anymore. Way to shoot yourself in the foot." but it's ok, I'd rather things work out with Rob. And they still might not, but I'll have a better chance being positive than being negative and being pathetic and whiney and clingy and needy at Rob. So my goal is to stay positive!
I have random photos from the past couple months I feel I should post, so feel free to look and laugh...you may learn interesting, embarassing secrets about me!:
And now, crappy, stupid pictures from tonight. We need more group shots of us, haha...I don't wanna post pics of them that I'm not in, to somewhat respect their privacy...
My first mudslide... my friends like documenting my drinking, 'cause it's rare I finish a drink and all or like it enough to not bitch about the burning.
Yeah, I got pasta sauce all upon my face, I felt smart.
This was actually part of a joke about making cock-sucking faces...but I was laughing so hard I couldn't do it...so I just look super-excited about fucking mudslides.
My lipstick came off, and I was sad...
...But that's enough pics since I don't have any of us together, so enjoy... and wish me luck with working things out, please!
I'm so bored, somebody talk to me
great pictures by the way