Feel like a cast off shadow that no one wants to claim anymore..
I used to be worn by elegant woman to make sharp contrast to their pale, soft skin-
I was the dark outline of their eye shadow..
The abyss of their luscious mouths that lovers reached into with their lips and tongues-
But now I am the darkness in the corner that everyone...
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Today was awesome-
tonight is all tired...
muscles recoiling from ballet and yoga and biking in the cold snow.
looking for completion on the computer screen,
I bow in submission to the blinding light of the web-
finally I come back to who I am--
and turn it off and find my hollow self.
where do I go from here??
to bed, to food, to...
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well I already said it. I do not like being needy, wanting attention, and pulling on people's emotional heart strings. A friend of mine said she feels bad about not being able to be there for me. I understand her and I know she really does want to help. I do not want people to view me as weak and in need of their help...
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Love to all of my friends here..Love..I know it sounds corny...but I do have you in my heart....way down deep, deep inside.. I have seen you all and extend my gratitude and warmth..:)
Will be modeling at the University of Minnesota next Tuesday. Then in Feb. I have a gig each week at otherepalces. Sometimes modeling gives me great apprehension and fear. I know all I need to do is sit down and work on the poses, but it still makes me nervous to be nude and wondering if anyone really likes my poses, and wants to draw...
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tomorrow I will love you...today I am loving you...from the beginning I have loved you..always..all times..all places..infinitely...My love is with you..<3
Take a peek at Ohlarraine's new set in meber review. It is gorgeous...be sure to leave a complimentary note for her!! :)
I am so sad to have two brothers die by their own hand..feeling really down...
Off to teach a nude Yoga class...sort of sore and hurt today..but still excited to teach!! Yay for nude Yoga!!
I need some natural hot springs to immerse myself in nude with my friends...ahh that would suit me just fine....:)