(I want to preface this by saying this is paraphrasing from an article and video I read/watched about what women find desirable in pictures of/or in men in hetero-normative relationships)
A guy had been complaining that in his dating profile, he got more swipes when his profile pic was him outdoors smiling in a tank top and sweats than it was with him flexing stone faced in a tank top in the mirror, even though the pics were only 2 days apart. But, as a woman who'd studied these things told him, the 1st pic was more desirable to the female gaze than the 2nd, which was actually for the male gaze.
Now, this is also known as the He-Man effect if you're a certain age (like me LOL), but what it comes down to is a lot of men want our superheroes (which in this case are a stand-in for ourselves) to be ripped, muscled, tall and toned because that's what WE want to be and also what we THINK that women truly want. To be clear, I'm not saying that women don't find that attractive (if they didn't at all, there would be a lot less tropes in that regard), but generally speaking that's not what they're attracted to most of the time.
This woman said that in the first pic, the man was showing his genuine self: he was outdoors, smiling, not posing at all. In the 2nd, he was trying to emphasize features that HE thought would lead to more interactions when in reality, it just showed him to be superficial (whether or not he is isn't relative to this piece).
I do think it's fascinating that a lot of men (myself included) don't believe women when they say they're not looking for some ripped, muscled and toned man (the success of movies and shows like Magic Mike gives credence to that), but this woman said that those types of images are fantasies (just like men have), but they can usually compartmentalize and desire and appreciate a "regular" man; conversely, a lot of men have trouble doing the same thing (i.e. having a "fantasy" woman but desiring and appreciating the "regular" woman they have).
Not really looking for any commentary, just sharing something that I thought was interesting about the way we see ourselves and each other, and what people are truly looking for in a partner. That's all :)
