Ok, here's the deal-
Monday morning, I walked into the office right one time, and my boss smiles and tells me not to take my coat off, we're going out for coffee. Ok. I thought she was going to scold me for something silly and I'd just have to take it, but oh well. So, as soon as we get coffee, we sit down and she launches into something about commissions (which we haven't talked about), her being generous, another plug for her being generous, the energy being down, and another plug for her, ending in, "it's best that you leave." She told me she has an 11 am appointment and I need to clean my desk out before then.
I was just so shocked, I didn't know what to say, was trying to catch up processing everything, and couldn't figure out a defense, argument, or any comments.
So, I went up to my desk, cleaned out, and said goodbye to the office. The looks on their faces were perfect reflections of me- wanting to cry, complete confusion, and shock. I couldn't explain as my boss was standing there, I could barely say goodbye.
So that's that. After 3 years, being on call, building a company, multiplying its size, nurturing relationships, it ends with my email being cut off on a Sunday night and secret dismissal on a Monday.
I think I'm still in shock.
I know this is for the best for me. I know better things are to come. But I can't deny that I'm feeling non-positive feelings, too. Like how "commitment" and someone's word can mean nothing angers me- she asked me to stay until the end of the year and she would commit to that, too, but instead I'm short a couple paychecks I had planned on and why I agreed to stay. After all I've put in, there was no payoff day. How after this relationship I'm dismissed as though nothing- that hurts. How she's telling people I was "withholding information" and it's better I go- lies and disrespectful. It's pretty upsetting.
I get it- it was toxic to be there and I can grow free of that all now. And I know in my heart that I tried my darndest and sucked it up and put in my all. And I know this last, callous behavior isn't me, she somehow justified it in her head for her own reasons. But honestly, it's not great.
Well, that is that. It sucks, but worse could happen. I know I'll be fine and all is good, I just am still processing the disappointment and anger and hurt.
Thanks for reading.
xxo
Monday morning, I walked into the office right one time, and my boss smiles and tells me not to take my coat off, we're going out for coffee. Ok. I thought she was going to scold me for something silly and I'd just have to take it, but oh well. So, as soon as we get coffee, we sit down and she launches into something about commissions (which we haven't talked about), her being generous, another plug for her being generous, the energy being down, and another plug for her, ending in, "it's best that you leave." She told me she has an 11 am appointment and I need to clean my desk out before then.
I was just so shocked, I didn't know what to say, was trying to catch up processing everything, and couldn't figure out a defense, argument, or any comments.
So, I went up to my desk, cleaned out, and said goodbye to the office. The looks on their faces were perfect reflections of me- wanting to cry, complete confusion, and shock. I couldn't explain as my boss was standing there, I could barely say goodbye.
So that's that. After 3 years, being on call, building a company, multiplying its size, nurturing relationships, it ends with my email being cut off on a Sunday night and secret dismissal on a Monday.
I think I'm still in shock.
I know this is for the best for me. I know better things are to come. But I can't deny that I'm feeling non-positive feelings, too. Like how "commitment" and someone's word can mean nothing angers me- she asked me to stay until the end of the year and she would commit to that, too, but instead I'm short a couple paychecks I had planned on and why I agreed to stay. After all I've put in, there was no payoff day. How after this relationship I'm dismissed as though nothing- that hurts. How she's telling people I was "withholding information" and it's better I go- lies and disrespectful. It's pretty upsetting.
I get it- it was toxic to be there and I can grow free of that all now. And I know in my heart that I tried my darndest and sucked it up and put in my all. And I know this last, callous behavior isn't me, she somehow justified it in her head for her own reasons. But honestly, it's not great.
Well, that is that. It sucks, but worse could happen. I know I'll be fine and all is good, I just am still processing the disappointment and anger and hurt.
Thanks for reading.
xxo
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
nickstone:
So sorry for your job... damn... hard times.
Oh, by the way, we dont celebrate thanksgiving here. Take care, xoxo

nickstone:
Yes, this was really cute. All the kids were so happy.. and the families as well.