@lavonne so sorry to have to do it this way, it was the only way I could provide an illustration. You might have heard of Abraham Maslow, and this triangle is what he believes are human needs. You notice the very top about creativity and morality, these are things I know for a FACT that you are very experienced with as I have read many of your blogs and your website. When I look at this, I see myself as the bottom and the top as already being fulfilled. I have established morals, I'm definitely creative, spontaneity I can't say I've experienced much but I'm definitely a firm believer in it, problem solving is not what it should be but as a result of doing therapy it is way much improved from what it was, lack of prejudice is a definite yes, and acceptance of facts is a definite yes.
However, the middle two, Self esteem, confidence, friendship, sexual intimacy........nope and it is in fact what has led me to so much self-hate. It does in fact tie in to what you said, about letting go of the past, about accepting the things I cannot change (the past), that our body is an amazing machine. I have done an enormous amount of harm to myself and trying to reverse many of these bad habits I have requires a lot of patience and anyone who is in the same situation I am in, yea it can be done, but it's going to take an awful amount of time.
I read yours and my blog last night during my therapy session, and when I came to the question of whether or not 'the need to be loved' is in fact a need, she said it definitely is. This is actually somewhat terrifying for me because this means that I can no longer live in this insulated world I live in and actually have to 'go out' there. I'm sure you are very well aware of this, but a good majority of the world is not tattooed,pierced, have different colored hair, but more importantly, a good majority of the world does not recognize self love as something necessary. Why...that's probably something that a million pages wouldn't be enough to write about, but the problem I can already see coming is that I definitely accept who I am, but trying to go out there in the real world and try and fit in, which is something I don't want to care about? I already see rejection coming. However, I think what you commented on my blog is absolutely huge!!!
Self love is important for its own sake. If you create it it should be without expectations. But! The way self love changes how people perceive you can be very powerful, and very attractive to others.
This is in fact the path I'm going to take when viewing self-love, and I think it's going to work out very well. I cannot thank you enough for sharing with us your thoughts and strategies on life. You are a perfect example of why I am a member of this community. Hopefully, someday, I will be confident enough in myself to spread out the same message as you!
