So this ball is rolling...
Just since yesterday, or the day before that was when I called my childhood friend, and then yesterday I told my parents, and then today I turned in my subletting form to my landlord.
All these new pressures.
Friend thinks its really weird that I haven't communicated with him in anyway for 5 years and then ring up and then say I'm coming up. I can see where that might seem odd, but really he is the only person there that I know who is under the age of 40. And even then we probably wouldn't of stayed in contact as long as we did if our parents weren't friends. I might end up moving in with him and some other people. We have sort of clashy personalities so that should be...interesting.
I feel like a traitor for leaving so soon after my parents got here. I've seen my mother twice for the first time in 6 months, and now I'm going. I know she understands, I'm not happy here, and she wants me to go. But I still feel like somehow being able to see them anytime is important, even though I havn't properly lived with them for over 3 years. I know my dad is dissapointed.
And my boyfriend...my boyfriend in U.S. who I havn't seen for 5 months and am not going to see for at least another 7. He worries that the only reason that we are still together is that in Hobart I havn't been able to find any thing else I like so I cling to things I left back home, maybe he's right. I don't know. I do love him and I havn't been attracted to anyone since I left, but I can't say for sure that wont change.
I could of avoided this all by just staying were I am...but I have to grow up, move on, blah blah blah.
I'm always disapointing somebody anyway.
This all seems a little private to be on a webjournal thing. But for some reason I can't erase it.
Just since yesterday, or the day before that was when I called my childhood friend, and then yesterday I told my parents, and then today I turned in my subletting form to my landlord.
All these new pressures.
Friend thinks its really weird that I haven't communicated with him in anyway for 5 years and then ring up and then say I'm coming up. I can see where that might seem odd, but really he is the only person there that I know who is under the age of 40. And even then we probably wouldn't of stayed in contact as long as we did if our parents weren't friends. I might end up moving in with him and some other people. We have sort of clashy personalities so that should be...interesting.
I feel like a traitor for leaving so soon after my parents got here. I've seen my mother twice for the first time in 6 months, and now I'm going. I know she understands, I'm not happy here, and she wants me to go. But I still feel like somehow being able to see them anytime is important, even though I havn't properly lived with them for over 3 years. I know my dad is dissapointed.
And my boyfriend...my boyfriend in U.S. who I havn't seen for 5 months and am not going to see for at least another 7. He worries that the only reason that we are still together is that in Hobart I havn't been able to find any thing else I like so I cling to things I left back home, maybe he's right. I don't know. I do love him and I havn't been attracted to anyone since I left, but I can't say for sure that wont change.
I could of avoided this all by just staying were I am...but I have to grow up, move on, blah blah blah.
I'm always disapointing somebody anyway.
This all seems a little private to be on a webjournal thing. But for some reason I can't erase it.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
To my surprise google indexes our public journals. Try googling for 'selenakyle' and you'd be surprised about what turns up.
I keep this in mind when I post to this site. Maybe that's why it takes me so long to update my journal...
Hugs and take care
~ EyesOnly ~
where in Oz are you I am stuck in Hobart but I am going to Meredith I hope to so you there
Matt