Ok so I wanted to write a blog about a lot of things, ranging from my current thoughts and feelings to what I'm looking forward to in the coming months and year. Also this entire blog was written with a few albums of David Bowie playing, I thank him for always giving me the pick me up I need.
For one I want to make it clear that I think I'm experiencing that infamous seasonal sadness thing and the weird thing is I actually kind of like it; it feels like a warm, nostalgiac and meloncholy feeling to me, much like driving on a pale, cool and cloudy Spring or Fall day reminds me of the first day of school. I'd get ready, filled with anxiety and nervousness, staying up all night the night before because of strong insomnia combined with anxiety filled thoughts of the day to come.
I can't really describe it any other way than that, it's an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and strange sadness that leaves me deep in thought, thinking about nothing entirely, just deep in aimless thought without saying a word at all. It's a strange phenomenon that I think only men experience: thinking about nothing at all. A funny comedian once put it like this: "When men are thinking about nothing, they're essentially defragging their brain, like a computer." and I think it's completely true. It's when I'm not thinking about anything in particular, just nothing, and yet it feels like there's something there all the time yet I can't think of what it is. It's kind of like gathering my thoughts but at the same time there's no thoughts at all.
I just made some fresh white long grain rice and some chicken, mmm it came out really good. Sorry to be random and off topic, but this is another essential thing I think anyone should think about: being able to cook. As hard as it may seem, cooking isn't that hard. You take specific ingredients and measurements of said ingredients and you cook them in a specific way. Though, this is coming from someone who has worked in restaurants most of his life, and learned to cook from professional chefs as well. I guess it takes a lot of practice and patience but it's very worthwhile as home cooking is much healthier and a lot less expensive than eating out at restaurants.
My goal is to be able to cook a big variety of things from different cultures as well, but I really love Italian food and I've been loving seafood more and more as well. What can I say, I'm Italian after all! I also want to broaden my horizons with food and try as much new stuff as I can, being so spoiled and scared of new food for such a long time I don't want to have to worry anymore about what I'll be able to eat wherever I go, you know? The only thing I think I'll never really be into is meat, the most I can say I enjoy is chicken, and ground beef (but only in tacos, any other form of it doesn't really appeal to me, the same for bacon being the only kind of pork I enjoy, any other lunchmeats or sausages don't appeal to me at all).
Overall my main goal is to become even more rounded out than I am now, I want to experience more culture and more categories in the arts, I want to enhance my portfolio as much as possible and get a .com website up for my work when I have some more good songs to show off, as well as artwork. I'll probably be doing that sometime over this summer.
Speaking of .com websites, Stefanie's is really awesome, you guys should go check it out! Here's the address:
http://www.stefaniewycislakdesign.com/index.html
I might have to ask her to get mine set up for me once I make the arrangements and pay for the bandwith and everything (because her's is that awesome).
Alright so moving onto talk about relationships, emotions, double standards, and generalizations/stereotypes involving the sexes.
First I want to talk about men and the common misconceptions involving them. The common standard or stereotype makes men out to be less emotional, more closed off among other things. I'll first say that all men have the capability of being emotional, but a good amount of them close it off, or shun it. Usually it's not their fault, it's what they've grown up with and what they've learned to be expected of them. It may also be the result of severe childhood trauma, it varies from person to person.
It's my personal opinion that every person should not shun or negate their feelings, but they should accept them and go with them, as it's much healthier than letting them build up until they come exploding out. Now, I'm not saying to be a drama queen and go about town sharing your personal thoughts and emotions with everyone. I'm saying to just go with it, accept them as they're a natural part of the human mind and negating or shunning them is anything but healthy. It's a sign of possible personal problems and deep routed issues.
Another misconception is that men are avoidant of commitment, or scared of it. This definitely is not true, it's solely up to the that particular man's feelings and the situation most especially (usually involving the girl in question). Some men outright refuse to commit or settle down, others only do it with the right one, some do it without thinking with any person they date. In my honest opinion the latter is the best thing for any man to do, but that's just my opinion.
Yet another stereotype is that men don't talk enough in relationships, mostly involving personal problems or problems with the relationship. This definitely is not true, again it's solely up to the man himself and his personal habits and beliefs. If you ask me it's healthier for both people to talk things out whenever they need to and have no fear of it, as it's a sign of a strong relationship for both people being able to talk about things instead of being scared to, causing more damage in the end. A man that doesn't talk about these things may not know any better, or may be stuck in the typical "old fashioned" standard, which is what I'm going to discuss next.
There are advantages and disadvantages to being more old fashioned in thinking and the way you go of relationships. The advantages are that you value a strong, long lasting relationship more over sex and instant gratification, you value a productive and loving family, generally you have a more grounded moral standard as well. The disadvantages are that you may possibly still hold the same double standard for what a man and woman should do in a household, and as human beings. This is where many disagreements and arguments come about in my opinion, where a man may expect a woman to do all the laundry, all the cooking, all the cleaning, raising the children, and overall being a housewife above anything else; where the woman tires of amounting to a slave of a very old standard. I think it's stupid for any side of a relationship to have to work harder than the other, men or women for that matter.
Another thing I noticed is that a lot of guys don't really know what foreplay is, or how to do it properly. It's crucial for any good sex, and it makes it all that much better. I think intimacy and affection are crucial for any relationship to last through the years and once the sex dies down you have to be able to be good friends to keep things fresh and exciting.
Lastly I wanted to talk a bit about what I expect/hope for.
I just want a girl that understands me and gets me for who I am. Someone who shares common interests and love for similar things in the arts and culture, someone who I can be best friends with as well as intimate lovers. I want someone I can talk to for hours and at the same time if I was just spending time with in silence, watching a movie or TV it'd all be the same. I'm not asking for perfection, I'm asking for what's perfect for me; there's a big difference (one isn't possible).
For one I want to make it clear that I think I'm experiencing that infamous seasonal sadness thing and the weird thing is I actually kind of like it; it feels like a warm, nostalgiac and meloncholy feeling to me, much like driving on a pale, cool and cloudy Spring or Fall day reminds me of the first day of school. I'd get ready, filled with anxiety and nervousness, staying up all night the night before because of strong insomnia combined with anxiety filled thoughts of the day to come.
I can't really describe it any other way than that, it's an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and strange sadness that leaves me deep in thought, thinking about nothing entirely, just deep in aimless thought without saying a word at all. It's a strange phenomenon that I think only men experience: thinking about nothing at all. A funny comedian once put it like this: "When men are thinking about nothing, they're essentially defragging their brain, like a computer." and I think it's completely true. It's when I'm not thinking about anything in particular, just nothing, and yet it feels like there's something there all the time yet I can't think of what it is. It's kind of like gathering my thoughts but at the same time there's no thoughts at all.
I just made some fresh white long grain rice and some chicken, mmm it came out really good. Sorry to be random and off topic, but this is another essential thing I think anyone should think about: being able to cook. As hard as it may seem, cooking isn't that hard. You take specific ingredients and measurements of said ingredients and you cook them in a specific way. Though, this is coming from someone who has worked in restaurants most of his life, and learned to cook from professional chefs as well. I guess it takes a lot of practice and patience but it's very worthwhile as home cooking is much healthier and a lot less expensive than eating out at restaurants.
My goal is to be able to cook a big variety of things from different cultures as well, but I really love Italian food and I've been loving seafood more and more as well. What can I say, I'm Italian after all! I also want to broaden my horizons with food and try as much new stuff as I can, being so spoiled and scared of new food for such a long time I don't want to have to worry anymore about what I'll be able to eat wherever I go, you know? The only thing I think I'll never really be into is meat, the most I can say I enjoy is chicken, and ground beef (but only in tacos, any other form of it doesn't really appeal to me, the same for bacon being the only kind of pork I enjoy, any other lunchmeats or sausages don't appeal to me at all).
Overall my main goal is to become even more rounded out than I am now, I want to experience more culture and more categories in the arts, I want to enhance my portfolio as much as possible and get a .com website up for my work when I have some more good songs to show off, as well as artwork. I'll probably be doing that sometime over this summer.
Speaking of .com websites, Stefanie's is really awesome, you guys should go check it out! Here's the address:
http://www.stefaniewycislakdesign.com/index.html
I might have to ask her to get mine set up for me once I make the arrangements and pay for the bandwith and everything (because her's is that awesome).
Alright so moving onto talk about relationships, emotions, double standards, and generalizations/stereotypes involving the sexes.
First I want to talk about men and the common misconceptions involving them. The common standard or stereotype makes men out to be less emotional, more closed off among other things. I'll first say that all men have the capability of being emotional, but a good amount of them close it off, or shun it. Usually it's not their fault, it's what they've grown up with and what they've learned to be expected of them. It may also be the result of severe childhood trauma, it varies from person to person.
It's my personal opinion that every person should not shun or negate their feelings, but they should accept them and go with them, as it's much healthier than letting them build up until they come exploding out. Now, I'm not saying to be a drama queen and go about town sharing your personal thoughts and emotions with everyone. I'm saying to just go with it, accept them as they're a natural part of the human mind and negating or shunning them is anything but healthy. It's a sign of possible personal problems and deep routed issues.
Another misconception is that men are avoidant of commitment, or scared of it. This definitely is not true, it's solely up to the that particular man's feelings and the situation most especially (usually involving the girl in question). Some men outright refuse to commit or settle down, others only do it with the right one, some do it without thinking with any person they date. In my honest opinion the latter is the best thing for any man to do, but that's just my opinion.
Yet another stereotype is that men don't talk enough in relationships, mostly involving personal problems or problems with the relationship. This definitely is not true, again it's solely up to the man himself and his personal habits and beliefs. If you ask me it's healthier for both people to talk things out whenever they need to and have no fear of it, as it's a sign of a strong relationship for both people being able to talk about things instead of being scared to, causing more damage in the end. A man that doesn't talk about these things may not know any better, or may be stuck in the typical "old fashioned" standard, which is what I'm going to discuss next.
There are advantages and disadvantages to being more old fashioned in thinking and the way you go of relationships. The advantages are that you value a strong, long lasting relationship more over sex and instant gratification, you value a productive and loving family, generally you have a more grounded moral standard as well. The disadvantages are that you may possibly still hold the same double standard for what a man and woman should do in a household, and as human beings. This is where many disagreements and arguments come about in my opinion, where a man may expect a woman to do all the laundry, all the cooking, all the cleaning, raising the children, and overall being a housewife above anything else; where the woman tires of amounting to a slave of a very old standard. I think it's stupid for any side of a relationship to have to work harder than the other, men or women for that matter.
Another thing I noticed is that a lot of guys don't really know what foreplay is, or how to do it properly. It's crucial for any good sex, and it makes it all that much better. I think intimacy and affection are crucial for any relationship to last through the years and once the sex dies down you have to be able to be good friends to keep things fresh and exciting.
Lastly I wanted to talk a bit about what I expect/hope for.
I just want a girl that understands me and gets me for who I am. Someone who shares common interests and love for similar things in the arts and culture, someone who I can be best friends with as well as intimate lovers. I want someone I can talk to for hours and at the same time if I was just spending time with in silence, watching a movie or TV it'd all be the same. I'm not asking for perfection, I'm asking for what's perfect for me; there's a big difference (one isn't possible).