THE ASTRAL FACTOR, 1976 color
We start at the California State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, so we know this isn’t going to go well for somebody. Inmate Roger turns himself invisible (by just concentrating?) and escapes. Then he goes to his mother’s gravestone and has a fight with her? Even though she’s dead. He starts stalking women and strangling them. Creepy…he calls each one Mother before killing them. He has some Mommy issues. Darlene the model gets it in the bathtub first. Barrett goes to Mother’s old house where an invisible Roger throws statues at him. Next to get it is Colleen the socialite’s dog, then Colleen herself, both in the woods. Interspersed are scenes of domestic “bliss” with Barrett and his wife Candy. The bliss is questionable, as she seems like a loon. We suffer through Chris singing, but she doesn’t get killed for it. Sadly. Next is Roxane the dancer, while on stage. Man, the critics were really harsh. Bambi gets it next, aboard a yacht, in slloooooooowwwww motion. The police are really not doing well with keeping these women alive. Now that we’re down to just one person, maybe they keep her safe. They finally get the Invisib…stalker by wiring up a set of stairs to 220 volt electricity and **sizzle**. We end with more crazy, dysfunctional scenes of domestic bliss.
Favorite lines:
Candy: “Have a nice time.” Said to Lt. Barrett on his way to a murder scene. Yeah, real fun.
Barrett: “I want you to stick to Roxane like glue. If she takes a shower I want you in there with her.” Now that’s an assignment!
THE GALAXY INVADER, 1985 color
Flying saucer crashes in the South. A greenish-ish alien that looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon with a skin condition starts his killing spree. So far, from what I’ve seen of the people, and I use this term lightly, the alien has the right idea. The Montague clan seems a bit inbred, and immediately shoots one of the aliens, who dropped a large round white orb that shoots sparks when turned on. So they decide to capture the alien and sell it. So…liquored up yokals with shotguns trying to capture a creature in the swamp. This has a familiar ring of disaster to it. Much yipping and yehawing is heard as they hunt the alien, then the yokals are surprised when the alien starts shooting back. Eventually they capture the alien. A science professor, Dr. Tracy, and student release the alien. Frank kills Dr. Tracy, alien kills Frank. Papa Joe tries to rape Vickie, who says NO! and runs away, so Joe kills her and hides the body. Eventually the whole family Montague gets sick of Joe’s murdering ways and get together and kill him, but not before the alien is killed. Sheesh, this whole movie is kinda bleak and hopeless. I mean, really, the poor alien broke down on a backwater planet and was probably just trying to ask for some help jumping his quantum drive and the rednecks go and hunt, kidnap, torture and then kill him. No wonder the aliens try to avoid us.
Favorite lines:
Frank: “We need us a few good men with shotguns to go a’huntin’ tonight, an we don’t need no women.” Use a real back-woods accent.
Kid: “What’s wrong with him?”
Annie: “I don’t know. I hate him.”
Kid: “If he was my father I’d hate him too.” Me too.
Yokal: “So what’s this thing look like?”
Frank: “Don’t matter what it looks like, it just don’t look like us!” So…it looks human?
Annie: “What they gonna look fer, Ma?”
Ethel: “Hey, how bout a game of Scrabble?”
Annie: “I hate that game.” Geez kid, it’s like you and I are one person.
Dr. Tracy: “Oh great, the biggest scientific discovery in the history of mankind is being lassoed by rednecks.” Yeah. I know how you feel.
Yokal: “Now let’s get out there and bury those dead men.”
Frank: “Don’t see why we have to. Theys dead, don’t matter to them nohow.” Harsh. And illegal. Shouldn’t you, like, report them to the police?