WHITE PONGO, 1954 B&W
What is White Pong? Why is it white? And what other colors does Pongo come in? None of these questions will be answered to anyone’s satisfaction, is can guarantee, but let’s roll the footage anyway.
Wow, looks like we actually answered one question, the White Pongo is a white gorilla that is the missing link. So…Pongo means…gorilla? Anyway, we organize an expedition in Africa, including our token woman Pamela, to capture the White Pongo, known from here on out as WP. Not much happens. The expedition wanders about; WP blunders along, apparently becoming interested in Pamela and plays peeping-Pongo. Pamela shows marked preference for one of the guards, Geoffery, rebuffing secretary Clive. When the expedition splits and Hans and Clive force Pamela to go with them, WP rescues/kidnaps her. WP fights a lion off and Pamela escapes. WP captures her again. WP fights off a Black Pongo(?), Pamela escapes again. Geoffery comes to her aid and they capture WP. Then they take off the masks and find that all the Pongos are just Nazi’s scaring people out of the jungle! And they would have gotten away with it too… Nah, that would have been great. Instead they wound poor WP and decide to take him back to England for “scientific study”. Read zoo.
Favorite lines:
#1 Porterboy: “Yessir Bossman?”
Hans: “This is Number 1 Bossman.”
#1 Porterboy: “Me Number 1 Porterboy.” Glad we got all that straight.
Bossman #1: “Have the porters break out some of the goods to trade.”
Hans (to porters): “Mumbo jumbo!” I kid you not, that’s what was said.
As it turns out, only one question was answered. Well, two if you count that we saw a Black Pongo as well, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other colors. What about Pink? Red? Yellow? Green? The mind boggles, it does.
THE SNOW CREATURE, 1954, B&W
Only two things will be guaranteed in this movie: snow and a creature. But I’m going to guess that we have a token woman in this as well.
It’s off to the Himalayas this time. Botanist Frank hires Sherpas to climb Himalayas (snow!) to find rare plants. While gone, lead Sherpa Subra’s wife Leva is taken by a Yeti (aaand creature!). The Sherpas decide to abandon the plant search for the Yeti search and capture one. They take him back to California (Anything to declare? Just a Yeti.) where an immigration fight takes place. The Yeti escapes and is pissed. And, I imagine, quite warm. He wanders around assaulting women and escaping the police by wandering through the storm drains, where they capture and kill him. And everyone is happy, except the Yeti. Roll credits! For the record, there were 2 women in this movie.
Favorite lines:
Frank: “He’s only stunned. I’ll give him a hypo to keep him out.” Why did you bring knock out meds? For aggressive moss?
Customs Agent: “It’s necessary that we clarify his immigration status.” Oh gods, yes, keep the illegal Yetis out. Bigfoot has enough trouble without foreigners taking his job.