HERCULES AND THE TYRANTS OF BABYLON, 1964 Color
Herc, played by Rock Stevens this time, has a much higher budget this time. The slave trade is booming in Babylon, but Herc just says no! Still oily-chested, our hero sticks it to the soldiers time and again. He’s on a Mission, to find someone dear to him taken by the Babylonian slavers, Esperia, Queen of Hellenes. A crow points the way for him, so off he goes. On the way he saves the King of Assyria. Oh Geez, now the Assyrian King wants him murdered. All the Tyrants seem pretty awful. But I guess that’s part of the job. Herc decides the best way to deal with then is to destroy all of Babylon. Talk about cleaning house! And so, down go all of its people. Except the slaves. They are freed, of course, and start wandering through the desert to…oh wait, that’s a different story…Favorite lines:
It was less the lines as the sound effects. Clubs smacking Herc have a hollow “thump”, huge blocks of a building being moved squeak with a Styrofoam on Styrofoam sound.
Tyrant #1: “Am I any worse than the King of Assyria, who also wants to marry you?” Um, yes, well, no. You are both pretty horrible.
Tyrant #2: “It’s not wisdom you need, but a sword!” Actually, I just need Herc.
King of Assyria: “You betrayed me.”
Herc: “No, you betrayed me.” Boys, boys, let’s just agree we both betrayed the other.
HERCULES UNCHAINED, 1959 color
Another in great names that play Herc…Steve Reeves! We start off seeing Jason and the Argonauts splitting up, and a slimmer, oil-chested Herc heads to Thebes. But Thebes is in turmoil between two brothers, and Herc tries to make peace. On his way, he exercises poor judgement when he drinks from an enchanted spring and loses his memory. A bunch of soldiers show up and take him to a “pleasure garden” island. Since he has no memory, he figures, why not, I’ve got nothing else to do. Oh foolish Herc. But finally he comes to his senses when Ulysses shows up. Fight scene with lots of swords flashing around. Herc and crew escape and head back to Thebes. Meanwhile, Eteocles kills all of Herc’s family except his new wife, Iole. Herc’s pissed. He fights a series of indifferent stuffed tigers. Two brothers fight with prop weapons. Both die. Another epic battle over Thebes. What did they make these siege towers out of, cardboard? Thebeans route the attackers. Herc gets his wife back. Have you ever noticed that Thebeans looks like The beans? Favorite lines:
Eteocles: “We will arrest all Thebeans, starting with you, Crayon(?).” What color a traitor?
Soldier: “Listen Eteocles, the Thebeans are revolting!” They sure are!
I am happy to say, this is the last of the Hercules movies. I'm not sure I could stand another.