I watch them so you don't have to.
HERCULES AGAINST THE MOON MEN, 1964 Color?
Hercules, played by Alan Steele **snicker**. A meteor crashes and people of Samar must sacrifice humans to the new lifeform. The people cannot stand the loss any longer, so “Hey Hercules!” Queen Samara has a good thing going, as she is working with the Moon Men, and ambushes him. Her best men, though, are no match for Hercules’s oil-slathered chest. Herc faces many challenges and monsters, mostly while wandering through some secret tunnels to the palace, but again, nothing can best our man Herc, nor does he ever lose that oily shine. He meets with the people tired of the sacrifice, let’s rebel! But the Moon Men are too strong, Herc is captured. They try to squeeze him and spike him, but no good. Queen Samara tries her whiles (and drugs) on him, but he resists. Much oily-chested wrestling, rescue the good, stop the evil, which looks a lot like a Jiffy Pop Popcorn. Favorite lines:
Moon Man: “When the planets atom come into conjunction with Mars, and the evil influence of Uranus…” HA!
Queen Samara: “All you have to do is reach out your hand to my throat, encircle it and crush it as you would a flower.” At least we know her kink now.
HERCULES AND THE CAPTIVE WOMEN, 1964 Color-ish
A very bearded Herc, played this time by Reg Park, is all over it. Androcles knocks Herc out and stashes him onboard his ship, crewed by thieves. Herc responds by taking a nap whenever there is an opportunity. Thieves try to take ship but are thwarted and marooned. The ship is wrecked in a storm and they come ashore on an island and save a woman from Atlantis. She was left as a sacrifice (common theme, it appears) to Proteus, son of Uranus. Turns out she’s the Queen’s daughter, and the prophecies say that her daughter must die or Atlantis will sink. This…probably won’t go well. He fights the, of course, evil Queen, frees prisoners, destroys a magic rock. Apparently all of this is to bring Uranus (lol) back to destroy the Gods. Atlantis never stood a chance. Favorite lines:
Prophetic Burning Bush: “Greece is in danger. In danger from Afar!” From Africa?
Priest: “…at long last Antonia has found the missing pieces of Uranus…” Hahahahaha!
Priest: “I was the last High Priest dedicated to Uranus.” Oh gods, the many Uranus references is killing me.