--- I keep expecting to see a giant robot skating by.---
Okay, so.. Transformers. I saw it, I jizzed myself, I was left panting and splayed out like a $2 hooker.
That said, here are my beefs.
- Numero 1, the soundtrack blew ass. I remember the soundtrack from the cartoon movie from the 80's - cheesed out 80's metal, some Weird Al thrown in for good measure, and just all around, fuckin badass. It fit. This new-fangled soundtrack? Weak. They didn't even play the fucking theme song once. They had Linkin Park's new single for the song at the ending credits. What the flying fuck? Get Linkin Park to do a badass cover of the theme song and play that. I'd be down. Or, better yet, play the Lion cover from the old Transformers movie. That would have made my year.
- They didn't use the original transformation sound effects. The iconic transformation sound effects. This is only assuaged by the fact that the transformations sequences were longer, more articulated, and all-told, a trip to watch.
- BumbleBee peed on a dude. What the fuck, Michael Bay?
- BumbleBee is a fucking perv. Bamchickabowwow music for Sam? And the scene at the end was just a little more than creepy. Those who've seen it, dis/agree?
- They made Devastator a single Deceptacon, who was not monstrous and/or hard-ass. He was kinda cool, with the tank form, and the long, drawn-out death, but he was not hard-ass.
- Here be SPOILERS
V
V
V
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They killed Jazz. Why Jazz? WHY JAZZ?? The coolest one of the group, with the jive-talking and the breakdancing, and they fucking killed him with a one-liner and a 2-second ripping him in half scene. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck, I'm pissed.
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^
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^
Okay, so, other than those issues, I am immensely happy they made this film, and I don't feel that Michael Bay fucked up the works that bad, all you elitist pricks who've hated on him since day 1 of hearing he was helming the flick. So, balls to you, and....
TILL ALL ARE ONE!
Okay, so.. Transformers. I saw it, I jizzed myself, I was left panting and splayed out like a $2 hooker.
That said, here are my beefs.
- Numero 1, the soundtrack blew ass. I remember the soundtrack from the cartoon movie from the 80's - cheesed out 80's metal, some Weird Al thrown in for good measure, and just all around, fuckin badass. It fit. This new-fangled soundtrack? Weak. They didn't even play the fucking theme song once. They had Linkin Park's new single for the song at the ending credits. What the flying fuck? Get Linkin Park to do a badass cover of the theme song and play that. I'd be down. Or, better yet, play the Lion cover from the old Transformers movie. That would have made my year.
- They didn't use the original transformation sound effects. The iconic transformation sound effects. This is only assuaged by the fact that the transformations sequences were longer, more articulated, and all-told, a trip to watch.
- BumbleBee peed on a dude. What the fuck, Michael Bay?
- BumbleBee is a fucking perv. Bamchickabowwow music for Sam? And the scene at the end was just a little more than creepy. Those who've seen it, dis/agree?
- They made Devastator a single Deceptacon, who was not monstrous and/or hard-ass. He was kinda cool, with the tank form, and the long, drawn-out death, but he was not hard-ass.
- Here be SPOILERS
V
V
V
//////////////////////////////
//////////////////////////////
/////////////////////////////
They killed Jazz. Why Jazz? WHY JAZZ?? The coolest one of the group, with the jive-talking and the breakdancing, and they fucking killed him with a one-liner and a 2-second ripping him in half scene. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck, I'm pissed.
//////////////////////////////
///////////////////////////////
//////////////////////////////
^
^
^
Okay, so, other than those issues, I am immensely happy they made this film, and I don't feel that Michael Bay fucked up the works that bad, all you elitist pricks who've hated on him since day 1 of hearing he was helming the flick. So, balls to you, and....
TILL ALL ARE ONE!
twinkie:
I think you should write regular movie reviews. AWESOME.