Sex is Not a Big Fucking Deal
It just upsets me when I think about how our society stereotypes every damn thing and tries to compartmentalize people into all these little categories. Is theres no such thing as liking an older guy for the perfectly acquisitive rationale that hes got so much you can learn from? And also because theyve seen so much nothing can shock them, and have an accept-it-like-it-is-because-chances-are-you-cant change-it attitude. I love shocking, but thats not a fantastic recipe for a comfortable relationship. And you can never dare to be completely truthful because you know people simply do not like things they are not used to.
I dont know about other older men, but the ones I know (who also coincidentally, have slept with many women. Which is only natural, since the longer you live the more women you sleep with, in the absence of any particular sexual-moral code that you believe you should ascribe to) are usually very accepting and accommodating to a whole lot of female personalities and femininely constructed situations.
Younger guys seem to date to get laid, these do not. Theyve simply had too much sex for it to be a big deal, and thats the way it should be.
It Isnt a big deal. Its not a big deal if you do it, and do it with a lot of people, and its not a big deal if you dont. Even if you have been dating for half a year and the guy isnt a virgin, and is probably screwing around with someone else (only you dont know it). Of course a billion women have a billion reasons to tell me why I would be terribly wrong, but the truth is, sex is just sex.
It fulfills the basic human needs of inclusion and physical desire. Sex is not the problem, the problem is how its acquired, and what is expected from it. As long as its mutual, and you dont lie to get laid (if you did, go to hell. You give sex a bad name) I cannot possibly see a problem; and the world should be a happier place.
Why should an illustrious sexual history necessarily be a bad thing? Oh I can see why it would be a problem if you want to get married, and youre a man, because so many women are too damn uptight about things like that.
And thats a pity, because they cant understand that these are the men they can be the least self-conscious around. Theyve fucked all sorts of women, and have had all sorts of sex and so much of it that when they finally pick you up, and want you, its beyond sex as a physical need. It is, but its more then that. And also, youre not going to be the least attractive one theyve slept with, and all the weird physical imperfections fat gut, hair on your tits, what the hell ever- cannot possibly be shocking. And you dont have to be embarrassed about any single damned thing.
These men know women, love women, and want to treat women nicely.
So what if they are blatantly promiscuous, and might possibly sleep around with someone else? Youre stupid if you think that people never cheat on each other. Some people do not, certainly, but its stupid to assume that yours wont. Even if hes had a relatively celibate record. The higher celibacy is place on a moral high-ground, the harder it will be to ascribe to it. Period. And most people do cheat.
Being exclusive should not come from the need to conform to social convention, and not even from the desire to save your partner hurt. You never wanted to hurt your parents, but you did at some point in time anyway, even though you loved them. Those reasons are insubstantial. Being exclusive should come from the desire to just BE exclusive. Its what you want to do because your love for the person makes it the natural thing to do. And if it does not, then dont bother. Talk it out, be truthful to yourself, and work things out.
Sex has been made into such a big fucking deal up to the point where it takes precedence over truthfulness of feelings. Is that not absurd?
It just upsets me when I think about how our society stereotypes every damn thing and tries to compartmentalize people into all these little categories. Is theres no such thing as liking an older guy for the perfectly acquisitive rationale that hes got so much you can learn from? And also because theyve seen so much nothing can shock them, and have an accept-it-like-it-is-because-chances-are-you-cant change-it attitude. I love shocking, but thats not a fantastic recipe for a comfortable relationship. And you can never dare to be completely truthful because you know people simply do not like things they are not used to.
I dont know about other older men, but the ones I know (who also coincidentally, have slept with many women. Which is only natural, since the longer you live the more women you sleep with, in the absence of any particular sexual-moral code that you believe you should ascribe to) are usually very accepting and accommodating to a whole lot of female personalities and femininely constructed situations.
Younger guys seem to date to get laid, these do not. Theyve simply had too much sex for it to be a big deal, and thats the way it should be.
It Isnt a big deal. Its not a big deal if you do it, and do it with a lot of people, and its not a big deal if you dont. Even if you have been dating for half a year and the guy isnt a virgin, and is probably screwing around with someone else (only you dont know it). Of course a billion women have a billion reasons to tell me why I would be terribly wrong, but the truth is, sex is just sex.
It fulfills the basic human needs of inclusion and physical desire. Sex is not the problem, the problem is how its acquired, and what is expected from it. As long as its mutual, and you dont lie to get laid (if you did, go to hell. You give sex a bad name) I cannot possibly see a problem; and the world should be a happier place.
Why should an illustrious sexual history necessarily be a bad thing? Oh I can see why it would be a problem if you want to get married, and youre a man, because so many women are too damn uptight about things like that.
And thats a pity, because they cant understand that these are the men they can be the least self-conscious around. Theyve fucked all sorts of women, and have had all sorts of sex and so much of it that when they finally pick you up, and want you, its beyond sex as a physical need. It is, but its more then that. And also, youre not going to be the least attractive one theyve slept with, and all the weird physical imperfections fat gut, hair on your tits, what the hell ever- cannot possibly be shocking. And you dont have to be embarrassed about any single damned thing.
These men know women, love women, and want to treat women nicely.
So what if they are blatantly promiscuous, and might possibly sleep around with someone else? Youre stupid if you think that people never cheat on each other. Some people do not, certainly, but its stupid to assume that yours wont. Even if hes had a relatively celibate record. The higher celibacy is place on a moral high-ground, the harder it will be to ascribe to it. Period. And most people do cheat.
Being exclusive should not come from the need to conform to social convention, and not even from the desire to save your partner hurt. You never wanted to hurt your parents, but you did at some point in time anyway, even though you loved them. Those reasons are insubstantial. Being exclusive should come from the desire to just BE exclusive. Its what you want to do because your love for the person makes it the natural thing to do. And if it does not, then dont bother. Talk it out, be truthful to yourself, and work things out.
Sex has been made into such a big fucking deal up to the point where it takes precedence over truthfulness of feelings. Is that not absurd?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
so hello.
...and goddamn, when are they ever gonna get around to posting your photoset?
it's impossible... and totally boring!
I love reading your journals!
xo