echofonic

Day fifteen.


This would have been the first day of re-established contact had I not made the choice that I made.

Instead I got her reply, and it was hard to not read into it. I had to take a while. Then I read it again with a clearer heart and head, and I understood that she'd received the news as well as one could,...
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Day fourteen.


I spent all night writing her a letter, and the entire day leading up to that thinking about it.

Here's what I wrote:

______________________________________________________________

XXXXX,

I spent the last three days thinking about this letter and most all of tonight writing it, because it's really hard to say what I think need to say. I know that we agreed on two weeks, but...
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Day thirteen.

I am writing a new song.

Days ten and eleven.

I can't shake the sadness that came on Tuesday night. I didn't post last night and I don't care and I don't want to say any more right now about how I know that all of this is good and how I'm growing and how this was so necessary and how I'm still aware that doing this is the only way...
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Day nine.

I'm certain that my backaches have been due to that crappy broken driver's seat and yesterday just about did me in, so I worked on the Volvo today. Spent a lot more time on it than I'd planned, which bothered me at first as I know that I have more than a tendency to get caught up in trivial tasks, but then I...
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Day six.

The double shift was exhausting. I left my morning job as quickly as I could and raced home to get as much sleep as possible before my dinner shift, but it barely helped. It was a good thing that I was first on - that gives me the option to be the first out as soon as they start cutting servers, and I...
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Day five.

Worked a double today. Second shift was long and exhausting. Got home late, and I'm spent.

Took a nap between shifts and had a dream: Bruce & Nicole showed up downstairs, bags in hand, from out of nowhere, planning on staying with me. It was great to see them. Bruce gave me the longest, most heartfelt hug. I was as surprised as I...
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Day four.

Too tired to think, or maybe I've just been thinking too much today. I realized an hour ago that I've been clenching my teeth all day. I was on-call tonight and wasn't needed, so I stayed home and worked on the flat some more. The floors are all clean now. The sink's white again. The bathroom's clean as well - tub, toilet, sink,...
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Day three.

I didn't get enough sleep last night, and it hurt me today. I'm not gonna make the same mistake two nights in a row.

***

I love you. I'm guessing that you had pie with friends tonight. I bet it was a meringue, and I hope it was delicious.

Goodnight.

Day two.

I woke up at two p.m. Not too terrible seeing as how I'd been up past four a.m. the night before. I made breakfast - scrambled eggs with blue cheese and bacon and cracked black pepper on two english muffins. I washed up while making tea. Then I sat down and made a list of the things I wanted to accomplish that day....
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Day one.

Today I
fed the cats
washed the dishes
took out the trash & recycling
went out and bought some food for today and the next few days.

I thought I'd do more, but I started feeling achey and weak around 11am. It got worse as the day went on, and I ended up calling out to work. I never did get to feeling...
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