Well , there is much to say....
my birthday was nice, quiet, which is something i like. today i am going to a museum with a friend and one of the boys i have a super hard crush on. then we all have creative writing classes. i imagine we will all be in the same group. as we usually are, since we are good friends.
actually my birthday left something to be desired, since I had to take the money I had set aside to pay a bill for my boyfriends mother, which was for something she rents thru us, so it was our names that the creditors had. 50 fucking bucks.. talk about pissed off.
i have been wondering about a certain person recently. My first well sorta boyfriend. i dunno, i thought we were together, i mean he called me lots and we talked all night long lots, and he said he loved me (in german no less) and called me his snatch, (oh young love, with a skin head, the honor of being snatch)
he stopped calling me one night after i refused to sleep with him, in the back seat of a car, in the bathroom at a gas station, and if he knew the reasons why... it wasnt that i wouldnt, or didnt even want to, but i had been sick for a week, and didnt want to pass it on, they thought i had mono..and well when i wouldnt he pursued my friend, who didnt either .... anyway i never spoke to him again.
I have been wondering about him recently. hoping he is fine and well, and happy, and that life has given him the best...
and i dreamt about him last night, in the dream he told me he only went out with me because he felt sorry for me, because i looked so funny. i didnt look much differnt then, thinner, less tattoos, more depressed, but pretty much the same.
man those kids in high school, they see you have a problem they fucking nail you for it. There were rumors going around that i called someone and told him i wanted to kill myself, and i never did that.
and if i did, wow, i apologize, but you know when youre an abused child and youre reaching out...
i guess you latch on to whomever will catch you.
anyway...enough of this ...
if any one knows jimmy freeman, from kansas city, who has one brother and one sister, please let me know, let him know i hope he is well and warm and happy and healthy. and hug him from me.
my birthday was nice, quiet, which is something i like. today i am going to a museum with a friend and one of the boys i have a super hard crush on. then we all have creative writing classes. i imagine we will all be in the same group. as we usually are, since we are good friends.
actually my birthday left something to be desired, since I had to take the money I had set aside to pay a bill for my boyfriends mother, which was for something she rents thru us, so it was our names that the creditors had. 50 fucking bucks.. talk about pissed off.
i have been wondering about a certain person recently. My first well sorta boyfriend. i dunno, i thought we were together, i mean he called me lots and we talked all night long lots, and he said he loved me (in german no less) and called me his snatch, (oh young love, with a skin head, the honor of being snatch)
he stopped calling me one night after i refused to sleep with him, in the back seat of a car, in the bathroom at a gas station, and if he knew the reasons why... it wasnt that i wouldnt, or didnt even want to, but i had been sick for a week, and didnt want to pass it on, they thought i had mono..and well when i wouldnt he pursued my friend, who didnt either .... anyway i never spoke to him again.
I have been wondering about him recently. hoping he is fine and well, and happy, and that life has given him the best...
and i dreamt about him last night, in the dream he told me he only went out with me because he felt sorry for me, because i looked so funny. i didnt look much differnt then, thinner, less tattoos, more depressed, but pretty much the same.
man those kids in high school, they see you have a problem they fucking nail you for it. There were rumors going around that i called someone and told him i wanted to kill myself, and i never did that.
and if i did, wow, i apologize, but you know when youre an abused child and youre reaching out...
i guess you latch on to whomever will catch you.
anyway...enough of this ...
if any one knows jimmy freeman, from kansas city, who has one brother and one sister, please let me know, let him know i hope he is well and warm and happy and healthy. and hug him from me.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
This journal entry is kinda sad. I think dreams are our way of getting rid of stuff that is bothering us. Sometimes people want to get back in touch with me if they have had a dream - but I always feel - hey that was your brain telling you that you are through and that you can have closure and that is it.
I'm sorry that boy was such a pig though.
Much love on your belated birthday.
and Yay!!! you are back!!!