I've sort of been a little all over the shop lately
and shall probably continue to be so
for a while yet.
before i forget, though,
THANK YOU!
really. thank you so much.
the chap who died
(and writing it is still odd)
was one of my best friends
since the age of 13...
with the inclusion of our mutual best friend,
we made the trio of almost identical looking
long-haired, goateed, black overcoat wearing
outsiders at school. now there are but two.
he was going to teach me to ski next year.
he was the guy i wrote that review for.
(he owes me 100! fucker!)
he was one of the smartest, beardiest, most argumentative
motherfuckers i've had the privelege of knowing.
if it wasn't for him, i'd still be hanging froma mountain in poland.
(or else, i would never have gone...)
we shared the same first girlfriend.
he was going to edit my dissertation (and my first book).
he went on a first date, two days before he died.
the girl must be slightly horrified...
he went to work.
and at four o'clock, ish,
he collapsed and died.
the autopsy was inconclusive...
just one of those things.
he cycled every day,
he climbed a couple of times a week.
he didn't smoke (except weed: and we'd finally got him rolling!).
he drank... mainly bourbon. and good bourbon at that.
he was healthy and fit and...
and then, for no explicable reason, he died.
just one of those things.
his father has been battling a brain tumour for the last few years.
his mother and sister had been preparing themselves
for if he ever lost that battle... but they were not ready for this.
can you ever be?!
that said: they are doing so well.
they really are.
emotional, but supportive of one another.
... especially his sister.
the service was beautiful.
and he would have been proud of the way
that we - almost all of his friends, his sisters friends,
his parents friends - have been there,
have pulled together.
tonight, as many of us sar in the living room at his folks'
going through photos,
retelling tales,
his mother said, as she left the room:
"i've never had so many children."
needless to say there have been tears.
so many that i feel somewhat empty.
the girl i was/wasn't seeing has been fantastic
(though we've had our own drama over the last 2 days)
and we seem to be together somewhat.
i came home today to find a loaf of fresh bread in the kitchen,
a bag of finest chocolate candies,
and a bunch of beautiful lillies
all waiting for me.
(yes, she has a set of keys already...)
this has been a crazy week.
i feel sick, almost all of the time.
the grieving process goes well, considering
(i'm not exactly unaccustomed to death,
so recognising my stages is slightly easier)
but that is not to say that is easy, per se...
so thank you.
to everyone who said something,
and to any others who read and thought of me
and didn't write anything...
to all: thank you.
what has life been teaching me lately?
appreciation.
consider yourself appreciated... in my own way...
Daniel Simon Frank
1980 - 2005
R. I. P.
"Dude."
and shall probably continue to be so
for a while yet.
before i forget, though,
THANK YOU!
really. thank you so much.
the chap who died
(and writing it is still odd)
was one of my best friends
since the age of 13...
with the inclusion of our mutual best friend,
we made the trio of almost identical looking
long-haired, goateed, black overcoat wearing
outsiders at school. now there are but two.
he was going to teach me to ski next year.
he was the guy i wrote that review for.
(he owes me 100! fucker!)
he was one of the smartest, beardiest, most argumentative
motherfuckers i've had the privelege of knowing.
if it wasn't for him, i'd still be hanging froma mountain in poland.
(or else, i would never have gone...)
we shared the same first girlfriend.
he was going to edit my dissertation (and my first book).
he went on a first date, two days before he died.
the girl must be slightly horrified...
he went to work.
and at four o'clock, ish,
he collapsed and died.
the autopsy was inconclusive...
just one of those things.
he cycled every day,
he climbed a couple of times a week.
he didn't smoke (except weed: and we'd finally got him rolling!).
he drank... mainly bourbon. and good bourbon at that.
he was healthy and fit and...
and then, for no explicable reason, he died.
just one of those things.
his father has been battling a brain tumour for the last few years.
his mother and sister had been preparing themselves
for if he ever lost that battle... but they were not ready for this.
can you ever be?!
that said: they are doing so well.
they really are.
emotional, but supportive of one another.
... especially his sister.
the service was beautiful.
and he would have been proud of the way
that we - almost all of his friends, his sisters friends,
his parents friends - have been there,
have pulled together.
tonight, as many of us sar in the living room at his folks'
going through photos,
retelling tales,
his mother said, as she left the room:
"i've never had so many children."
needless to say there have been tears.
so many that i feel somewhat empty.
the girl i was/wasn't seeing has been fantastic
(though we've had our own drama over the last 2 days)
and we seem to be together somewhat.
i came home today to find a loaf of fresh bread in the kitchen,
a bag of finest chocolate candies,
and a bunch of beautiful lillies
all waiting for me.
(yes, she has a set of keys already...)
this has been a crazy week.
i feel sick, almost all of the time.
the grieving process goes well, considering
(i'm not exactly unaccustomed to death,
so recognising my stages is slightly easier)
but that is not to say that is easy, per se...
so thank you.
to everyone who said something,
and to any others who read and thought of me
and didn't write anything...
to all: thank you.
what has life been teaching me lately?
appreciation.
consider yourself appreciated... in my own way...
Daniel Simon Frank
1980 - 2005
R. I. P.
"Dude."
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
I am stunned clean out of my everyday happenings. You have my deepest sympathies. It sounds like he has plenty of people who won't forget, and maybe more than a few who will pass something on - I won't be asking for more than that when I go.
In the crazy-mad piratical space-dash that passes for normalcy around here my thoughts are turned your way. Look after yourself,
i thought of you this week when i happened to come across an interesting chapter about capoeira in a book i'm reading. i thought i might mention it (although you might have already read it, or perhaps aren't interested). but on the chance that it pushes your buttons (or flips your switches - or however it happens in connection with your specific wiring):
Drewal, Henry John, "Memory and Agency: Bantu and Yoruba arts in Brazilian culture" in Mirzoeff, Nicholas (ed.), Diaspora and Visual Culture: Representing Africans and Jews, London and New York: Routledge, 2000.
The book is currently on my desk, but i'm returning it to the library this week. Library number: FA 816823