4/16 Happy 4/20! 😮💨 What's your funniest I was so high story?
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I just told this story a few days ago to my mom who was absolutely clueless at the time. Oops. What can I say? I was a rebel. 😂 Sorry it will be a little choppy. It's so much funnier when I tell it. I never tried to write it before. Here it goes.
Okay so one day around the age of 16, I went out to spend the day with some friends. One was a best friend of mine, and the others were more like cool acquaintances.
We spent the day riding around, some how we aquired a kitten, and made a few stops at other friend's houses to smoke.
I remember the day pretty vividly, because one of the houses we were at had this huge (and really cool) gliding swing. It was two bench swings facing each other, with a wooden bottom and poles that were attached to make it glide/swing. It was literally one if the most beautiful days ever, and the wind and the green was so vivid, I felt like I was in a magical dream.
Shortly after the sun started to set, we decided to ride down a haunted gravel road and smoke some more. (Keep in mind, we still have the kitten.)
We put on Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon and told ghost stories about the area.
One of the popular stories about the woods was that if you hear or see an owl over/near a certain bridge, that means the rowdy spirits were out and they didn't like trustpassers. This story didn't freak me out very much at the time, because we were inside of the car and everything was great. I even had a kitten on my lap. Did I mention the kitten was black? Black cats are great. Super lucky little things. Lol.
After the haunted tales, the entire car got silent as we continued down the rocky road. Stoned off of our asses, we discovered that every time the gravel would get more rough, the songs would get louder or faster. Every time the song would slow down, the road would get more smooth. Quite similar to the whole "thing" with Wizard of Oz and Dark Side Of The Moon syncing perfectly together.
While we are in this really high trance, we get to the wooded area of the path near the bridge. We all start looking out for it so we can step out and look for owls. As we are looking around, we get near a curve and a truck comes speeding around it, causing us to pull over to the side. It scared the shit out of us, including the cat.
Once our heart rates calmed down a bit, we decided to get back on the road and keep driving... The engine starts to rumble and you can hear the tires sliding in place.
The car is fucking stuck on side of the road, in a huge hole, in a haunted woods, with absolutely no cell phone service, 2 teen girls, 2 teen boys, stoned off of our ass, and a cat.
(I want to also add in that all 4 of us fit the stereo type of every scary movie. The "brave" girl who tries to talk everyone down, the "idgaf y'all are a bunch of pussies" guy, the super laid back stoner guy with a few extra goodies in his pockets, and the dramatic girl who cries about everything.... Well apparently I was NOT casted as the brave girl in this story. 😂🤦🏻♀️)
We get out of the car to check out the situation, and as soon as we look down to see the huge hole the car is in... The cat freaks out and we hear an owl nearby in the trees (near the bridge).
We all started freaking the fuck out. My heart starts racing, my body is literally trembling and I can barely stand up straight because my legs are so wobbly. Wtffff.
I swear I felt like I was the first one in the scary movie who gets killed. Every ounce of bravery in my body left. I was so high I was paralyzed. 😂 The stoner dude with the extra goodies starts offering them to the rest of us, the other guy is pissed and trying not to act nervous, and my best friend is trying to come up with a plan and shut us all up while attempting to keep herself calm.
So we all start rushing to figure out how to get this car out of the hole. I'm fucking useless at this point, so they put my ass in the driver seat to press on the gas while they push. The cat is just sitting in the passenger seat staring at me as I'm near tears thinking I'm about to get killed in this damn woods. 😂 I locked myself in the car and they are yelling at me to put the window down to hear their instructions, but I was frozen. My foot was shaking so bad I could barely press the gas.
We spent an hour trying to get out of the damn hole, with absolutely no luck. We look at the time, and it's damn near curfew (I was underage) which made the panic even worse. I went from panicking about ghosts and serial killers to panicking about getting caught high as fuck passed curfew with goodies in the car.
So me and the cat started walking down the road, attempting to find a bar of cell service to call a friend to come get us. (I nearly passed out every time I heard some rustling or an owl). We finally found one bar of service while standing on top of the car and get in touch with a friend long enough to tell them where we are and that we needed help. The phone disconnected and we couldn't find another bar of service. So we locked ourselves in the car while waiting to see if someone would come save us.
About 30 minutes later, my friends drove up and quickly brought my ass home before towing them out. The last thing anyone needed was to get caught with the hysterical underaged girl while stuck in the woods.
So me and my new cat finally got home and went straight to the bedroom. I didn't look at anyone or talk to anyone. I have no idea how I managed to look nonchalant. When I told my parents this story the other day, they have absolutely no recollection of me coming home late with the look of terror in my eyes. They do remember me "finding" the cat though. 😂🤦🏻♀️
I hid the kitty in my room for nearly a week before saying I "found him". I named him Mandalay, which was the name of the "haunted woods" where we thought we would die together.
From that night and on, I never smoked and went drive into a haunted woods ever again. I need to keep up my "I'm a badass" image, and I can't do that high apparently. Lmfao.
@lemon @missy @penny
