I'm in one hell of a mood today, and I don't know quite why. I have no money, and there's so much I want to be spending it on right now... new glasses, new clothes, taking myself off somewhere farflung and distant (or maybe just the other end of the country) and just forgetting everything, myself for a while.
I'm no good at just sitting...
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I'm no good at just sitting...
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Winter marches on, and I want it to be summer again. Or at least the pretence of summer, not being weighed down with scarves and gloves and jumpers... My back hurts from holding myself tight and bracing myself against the wind and scurrying across town. The wind always catches me out, coming from a different direction each time I let my guard down a little...This...
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bluechild:
i'd do anything to be able to stand in your part of the world and feel the cold around me... 
... trade you? it's 38Celcius right now
... trade you? it's 38Celcius right now
selena:
GO TO HAWAII! i need some summer and so do you, its almost here. but i dont mind it now as long as i can get away with wearing a thin jumper at night i am happy! bowling is the shit! im pretty ace at it... only since i found out i;ve been holding it wrong the past ten years 
"and all the pennies in the Thames won't make it like it was..."
Finally! Back in the land of the living, if a slightly grotty EasyInternet Cafe counts as living... so still no real internet access in my own world with decent coffee and music other than pseudo-muzak, but hell, this will have to do for the time being. I miss you all though
And...
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Finally! Back in the land of the living, if a slightly grotty EasyInternet Cafe counts as living... so still no real internet access in my own world with decent coffee and music other than pseudo-muzak, but hell, this will have to do for the time being. I miss you all though
And...
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magxc:
Hullo! I thought you'd got lost!
>I used to want to be Jaques Cousteau, but I never learned how to swim.
that's just a fantastic line. it should be in a song. a good song.
I didn't go to the meet in the end. no idea if it actually happened or not. i was in 'burgh yesterday, though, at one of the Edinburgh Lectures. Stuart Cosgrove ( TV Exec/ football pundit) sounding off about our national crisis of confidence. Was better than I thought it was going to be, quite interesting. Went to Cafe Royale afterwards and marvelled at how very much better Edinburgh does 'posh' than Glasgow. Our idea of grandiose glamour is an Old Firm footballer in a shiny Italian suit...
It sounds as if good things are happening for you. I'm really glad. I think you deserve it. But don't forget us SGers in your delerium. Do stop back and report
>I used to want to be Jaques Cousteau, but I never learned how to swim.
that's just a fantastic line. it should be in a song. a good song.
I didn't go to the meet in the end. no idea if it actually happened or not. i was in 'burgh yesterday, though, at one of the Edinburgh Lectures. Stuart Cosgrove ( TV Exec/ football pundit) sounding off about our national crisis of confidence. Was better than I thought it was going to be, quite interesting. Went to Cafe Royale afterwards and marvelled at how very much better Edinburgh does 'posh' than Glasgow. Our idea of grandiose glamour is an Old Firm footballer in a shiny Italian suit...
It sounds as if good things are happening for you. I'm really glad. I think you deserve it. But don't forget us SGers in your delerium. Do stop back and report
Happy New Year everyone....
I had a quiet, unexpectedly okay new year. I've said before that it's never my favourite time of year, and I'll stand by that, but this year was quietly different... No pretending it meant anything other than the start of another day and that I'm glad to be alive.... I saw my friends, I drank a little bit too much, I...
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I had a quiet, unexpectedly okay new year. I've said before that it's never my favourite time of year, and I'll stand by that, but this year was quietly different... No pretending it meant anything other than the start of another day and that I'm glad to be alive.... I saw my friends, I drank a little bit too much, I...
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bluechild:
you always write in such a lonely sad way... 
magxc:
the early months of the year ain't pretty. but i promise it'll be spring soon .
i might head through to shortbread city for that bloc party gig, definately will for british sea power in april. are you going to this sgscotland thing on saturday? not sure yet if i'm going to make it.
and i don't think you sound sad. just...open-hearted.
.
i might head through to shortbread city for that bloc party gig, definately will for british sea power in april. are you going to this sgscotland thing on saturday? not sure yet if i'm going to make it.
and i don't think you sound sad. just...open-hearted.
Wondering...
I got the train back to the city this evening, rolling through a senseless landscape - just odd reflections and glimpses and lights from places I'll never visit. Sometimes it seemed like the ryhthm of the trees and telegraph poles would match the music (Low : "Things we Lost in the Fire") all breaks and stutters and things fading into view, and then I'd...
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I got the train back to the city this evening, rolling through a senseless landscape - just odd reflections and glimpses and lights from places I'll never visit. Sometimes it seemed like the ryhthm of the trees and telegraph poles would match the music (Low : "Things we Lost in the Fire") all breaks and stutters and things fading into view, and then I'd...
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.... and she kissed me and I wanted it to mean more than it did. Just lips that tasted of cranberry and the memory of everything that had ever happened there and before.
It's like vertigo. Milan Kundera said something about Vertigo being not the fear of falling, but the fear of wanting to fall. Giving in to gravity and letting weight do its work....
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It's like vertigo. Milan Kundera said something about Vertigo being not the fear of falling, but the fear of wanting to fall. Giving in to gravity and letting weight do its work....
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elisabeth:
You articulate that experience so brilliantly. And thanks for reminding me to revisit Kundera.
Have a great holiday, and I hope to see you update more often.
*edited to add that chocolate almost came out of my nose upon reading your WHAT MAKES ME SAD portion of your profile.
[Edited on Dec 24, 2004 12:49PM]
Have a great holiday, and I hope to see you update more often.
*edited to add that chocolate almost came out of my nose upon reading your WHAT MAKES ME SAD portion of your profile.
[Edited on Dec 24, 2004 12:49PM]
Can't sleep.
I want to, but every time my head hits the pillow and I close my eyes I just start spinning again - not even really thinking about one thing, just spiralling on the edge of passing out.
And then I open my eyes and I'm as tired as ever, and it starts again.
More cocoa.
How sad
.
I want to, but every time my head hits the pillow and I close my eyes I just start spinning again - not even really thinking about one thing, just spiralling on the edge of passing out.
And then I open my eyes and I'm as tired as ever, and it starts again.
More cocoa.
How sad
.
Hello...
Just a quick one today. I'm in a constant state of running out to do something at the moment (in the past week, I've spent about 8 hours in my flat conscious), and today that involves getting photocopies, finishing a wall drawing (without falling off the aforementioned ladder) buying wine, remembering not to panic and enjoy it, and then get cripplingly drunk on mulled...
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Just a quick one today. I'm in a constant state of running out to do something at the moment (in the past week, I've spent about 8 hours in my flat conscious), and today that involves getting photocopies, finishing a wall drawing (without falling off the aforementioned ladder) buying wine, remembering not to panic and enjoy it, and then get cripplingly drunk on mulled...
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llona:
the best days to do christmas shopping are dec 21st and 22nd. i think the christmas spirit will come around for you. it always does at the very last minute for me.
the past is a killer, but it's so very tiring to keep trying to stay in it. it's a lesson slowly learned for me.
i have gray wool leg warmers and pink fuzzy slippers to keep me warm. did you ever find a good coat?
xoxo
the past is a killer, but it's so very tiring to keep trying to stay in it. it's a lesson slowly learned for me.
i have gray wool leg warmers and pink fuzzy slippers to keep me warm. did you ever find a good coat?
xoxo
magxc:
it will be fine. in fact, by now, it probably already has been
hope you enjoyed it.
hope you enjoyed it.
This evening I went to have a look at the space this show is going to be in (just over a week to go....). I'd planned on doing a drawing quite high up on the wall of a balcony (it's in an old fucked up church hall) without actually realising a) how high up this would be and b) how bad my vertigo is getting....
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magxc:
>Pet Shop Boys
they are great. they can sound very arch on the first listening, but there's often a really heartbreaking sincerity or tenderness there too.
aye, my freezer's full of random culinary oddities as well. i found a couple of ostrich burgers in there at the weekend
i see you're into <---nigella. braw. i've been making lots of her pea risotto with all the stock i saved up...
is your show in 'burgh? you should upload some shots of your work. i'd love to see it
they are great. they can sound very arch on the first listening, but there's often a really heartbreaking sincerity or tenderness there too.
aye, my freezer's full of random culinary oddities as well. i found a couple of ostrich burgers in there at the weekend
i see you're into <---nigella. braw. i've been making lots of her pea risotto with all the stock i saved up...
is your show in 'burgh? you should upload some shots of your work. i'd love to see it
bluechild:
i probably will never see you on a buss looking lovelorn 
Thanks for all the birthday wishes...they've made me smile through the hangover. I had a quietly lovely day, not at all anti-climatic like they usually are. Just too much chocolate, a film with my sweetest, loveliest friend, and then too much wine and a bit of a fall-over on the way home...
Like I said, all terribly pleasant. nice. gahhhh.
This weekend, the horror/strange masochistic...
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Like I said, all terribly pleasant. nice. gahhhh.
This weekend, the horror/strange masochistic...
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magxc:
ahhh, happy belated birthday. glad it was good the quarter century is an odd one, isn't it?
i remember neil tennant saying that "i wouldn't normally do this kind of thing" was an anthem for the british christmas party. ours is usually good-natured carnage. i quite look forward to it...
the quarter century is an odd one, isn't it?
i remember neil tennant saying that "i wouldn't normally do this kind of thing" was an anthem for the british christmas party. ours is usually good-natured carnage. i quite look forward to it...
Go to Skye if you need a trip. You can get there and back on a tank of fuel and there's nothing to do except walk around and that's FREE!