roxas07

OK I'm Pissed the fuck off... well I have this bf ( lets see how long he decides to stay) who keeps going back and fourth with his ex, ( they have a daughter) and now he's hanging out with her. I'm getting tired of it and it needs to stop one way or another. If he moves out he's moving out permanently this time. I'm trying my hardest to be a good buddhist and be patient and understanding but each day it gets harder and harder to deal with this shit. Fuckin' A man...I gave up everything I had for him, the man who wanted to mary me, ALL the men who have been dropping at my feet. Getting into fights with family, I gave up my absolute freedom by allowing him to move in. I even gave up my best friend for him. I don't regret doing so but I just wish he just sticks with a decision. This is making e too old too soon, and I am too damn pretty, smart, witty, and just too damn good to have to deal with this.

If all this tenacity is in vein it would hurt me so much but I'll move on, and find someone who won't bring all this drama to my life. If it's in vein I just think about all the moments I could have spent with those that truly want me. Those who don't have time for head games. I love him and I just hope to God that he loves me back. I hope to God that he IS in love with me and isn't just bullshitting me with all this. I need someone who is willing to adore me for my faults. Someone who truly knows what he wants. Someone who is truly, madly, deeply in love with me. And doesn't just think, but KNOWS he is. someone who can commit to me whole heartedly, without fear of letting go of the past. Someone who is not afraid of building a future. Someone with faith love and compassion. I just hope to God that he really feels what he says he does because I'm reaching the breaking point and Namyo isn't working today...and neither is OOSAH!!

Ok now that I've vented feel free to comment...I feel much better now BTW...