Isn't a good day. I feel myself spiraling into emptyness. the world and my demons are closing in on me. I reckonize the signs of depression coming on. Holidays lately are getting me down. I miss the sense of family. I miss not having someone in my life to share it with. I know I made a consious choice not to be with anyone for awhile but that doesn't ease the loneliness.
One good thing so far; I haven't spent any money. Normally I can blow large sums of money when I get depressed. I also know I'm getting depressed so thats a good thing too.
I did put a new dog door in yesterday. The opening is clear, instead of black like last time. I'm not sure I like being able to see through it.
The outside of the house needs work and that's not helping my mood. Log cabins always need something done to them.
Oh! I did get a smily face sent to me today. I'm not sure what to make of that. Nothing else came with it. Just a regular yellow smily face
And I find the Harry Potter Group on the site. Wicked!!!!!!! Someone had a little clip up of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. I spent a couple of hours looking around the web last night to see if I could found more. I found pictures but no more clips. Can't wait for the book in July and the movie in November.
I think writing is helping my mood. Things are looking up. Must keep my mind on the prize and not let it wander off.
I hope everyone had a wonderful mother's day. Especially the MOMS.
I just found this poem as I was looking for another.
LOVE AFTER LOVE
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters form the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image form the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life together.
I really know what this means. I actually done it.
One good thing so far; I haven't spent any money. Normally I can blow large sums of money when I get depressed. I also know I'm getting depressed so thats a good thing too.
I did put a new dog door in yesterday. The opening is clear, instead of black like last time. I'm not sure I like being able to see through it.
The outside of the house needs work and that's not helping my mood. Log cabins always need something done to them.
Oh! I did get a smily face sent to me today. I'm not sure what to make of that. Nothing else came with it. Just a regular yellow smily face
And I find the Harry Potter Group on the site. Wicked!!!!!!! Someone had a little clip up of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. I spent a couple of hours looking around the web last night to see if I could found more. I found pictures but no more clips. Can't wait for the book in July and the movie in November.
I think writing is helping my mood. Things are looking up. Must keep my mind on the prize and not let it wander off.
I hope everyone had a wonderful mother's day. Especially the MOMS.
I just found this poem as I was looking for another.
LOVE AFTER LOVE
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters form the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image form the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life together.
I really know what this means. I actually done it.
aeryn:
Hi- thanks for the good wishes. Hard to be alone even if it isby choice...I totally unerstand.