Thanks for the good thoughts from those who commented on my last post.
I feel 200% better today. Partially, I think, because I got a lot off my chest in that post, also partly because I got out and went a few rounds with the world today (it's amazing how much just getting active can improve your frame of mind), and partly because I'm so fucking tired from work last night that I think fatigue is blocking out any negativity. That shit takes some energy, right?
Anyway, for whatever reason, I feel much improved.
I'm off to have a nap before my last (hopefully, ever) nightfill shift. I start writing for Red Hat Linux on Monday (well, Tuesday, since Monday is a public holiday)
I feel 200% better today. Partially, I think, because I got a lot off my chest in that post, also partly because I got out and went a few rounds with the world today (it's amazing how much just getting active can improve your frame of mind), and partly because I'm so fucking tired from work last night that I think fatigue is blocking out any negativity. That shit takes some energy, right?
Anyway, for whatever reason, I feel much improved.
I'm off to have a nap before my last (hopefully, ever) nightfill shift. I start writing for Red Hat Linux on Monday (well, Tuesday, since Monday is a public holiday)
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
don't forget, uni is finishing this year (I believe?) and also probably a lot of things in your life are wrapping up.
So what else? You've defined yourself as the struggling artist/student/poverty driven edge dweller, and soon your going to have to come to a point where you re-join a lot of society and have to become an "adult" as such.
and in such you are probably terrified of loosing your identity, what is scott without study? It's make or break, you actually have to write this book, or succeed with what you have been aiming for all along. If not, it seems like everything you have done so far is for nothing.
The only thing you can do is realise you have equipped yourself for a multitude of situations, and understand that sometimes embracing what has been your antithesis for a long time may not be as bad as you think.
it is only through change we grow, and what are you afraid of? That you won't be cool, interesting, guarded - what that you'll just turn out to be another person in their mid-30's who hasn't really gotten anywhere and you can't hide behind your guise any more?
Sorry, that's a little straight to the point, but in saying that I believe you are more than ready for the next transition in your life, and if that includes setting higher goals and taking active, forward steps to what you want and understanding and accepting them if that's not going to be where your going, then that's a hell of a lot more positive that a continual deferment of responsibility of self.
Sorry if I'm totally off the mark
If not, forgive me and my red wine and dodgy psychoanalysis.
Love you hope you find your way scotty boy xoxox
Don't forget to cut the piece of hair you missed.
And very funny about the jacket.