A lot of things have sickened me recently. Parents raping their one day old child is one of them. A girl being denied her medication for epilepsy because she is in her fertile years is another. Now, my own family has disgusted me.
My wedding was Saturday, April 29th. John and I had worked our asses off to make sure everything ran beautifully, but it was riddled with mishaps the day before and day of. That's usually the case with weddings, but my family actually made it worse. I broke down into tears quite often. My grandfather is a minister, so I asked him to be the officiant. I figured it would be flattering, because everyone told me how much he wanted to do our wedding. However, he used it as an excuse to play dictator. Two weeks before our wedding, John and I got our marriage license and kept it safe. We told my grandfather. Yet, time after time, he kept asking if we had it. Then, finally, he yelled at John that if we didn't have it the day of the wedding he would refuse to marry us. He looked like he was going to punch my future husband. It didn't matter that we'd assured him countless times that we had it, he didn't believe us.
My Mother held countless tantrums the day of the wedding, because things weren't going perfectly and no one was showering her with praise. My grandfather threatened my cousin to sign the witness part of the marriage license before the wedding. My grandmother tried to convince me that my cousin/matron of honor was horrible and insisted that I badger the person who administered the place where we got married (one of my best friends and a guest of our wedding) because not everything was fully set up before our rehearsal. During the wedding, my grandfather kept calling me Aubrey (my name is Audrey) and calling John by a different surname. I was so embarrassed, as his relation to me was on the programs and everyone was wondering how he could get his own granddaughter's name wrong. Then, during what was supposed to be our first dance, my grandmother took that opportunity to yell at me about not having my daughters down at the reception yet. They were upstairs in the nursery with a trained childcare worker. In short, my family made me miserable. But, we got through our wedding and had a nice honeymoon. My Mom and Dad (though they have been divorced since I was 4) took care of my daughters together while John and I got to enjoy a few days alone together.
The other day, I talked to my father and he told me all about how my mother trash talked everyone (including me). Then, he told me that she called my ex-husband up and told him that my father was there. My ex doesn't like my father, because my dad's an old hippie. So, THAT'S why my ex called me up shortly after my honeymoon was over to bitch at me about how I shouldn't allow our daughters around "your father's kind." Why would my mother do that? Why did my family seemingly set out to make what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life a miserable day. There's even some speculation amongst guests that someone in my family was responsible for half of the boutenieres and corsages (that I made myself by hand) going missing from the church fridge.
I thought family was supposed to be there for you, but my family keeps proving over and over again that they just want to control me for their own gains. Yet, I still keep forgiving them and putting up with their...well, frankly...abusive behavior. I'm a little sickened by my lack of defiance against the group of people that continue to try to bring me down every time I make a step up.
My wedding was Saturday, April 29th. John and I had worked our asses off to make sure everything ran beautifully, but it was riddled with mishaps the day before and day of. That's usually the case with weddings, but my family actually made it worse. I broke down into tears quite often. My grandfather is a minister, so I asked him to be the officiant. I figured it would be flattering, because everyone told me how much he wanted to do our wedding. However, he used it as an excuse to play dictator. Two weeks before our wedding, John and I got our marriage license and kept it safe. We told my grandfather. Yet, time after time, he kept asking if we had it. Then, finally, he yelled at John that if we didn't have it the day of the wedding he would refuse to marry us. He looked like he was going to punch my future husband. It didn't matter that we'd assured him countless times that we had it, he didn't believe us.
My Mother held countless tantrums the day of the wedding, because things weren't going perfectly and no one was showering her with praise. My grandfather threatened my cousin to sign the witness part of the marriage license before the wedding. My grandmother tried to convince me that my cousin/matron of honor was horrible and insisted that I badger the person who administered the place where we got married (one of my best friends and a guest of our wedding) because not everything was fully set up before our rehearsal. During the wedding, my grandfather kept calling me Aubrey (my name is Audrey) and calling John by a different surname. I was so embarrassed, as his relation to me was on the programs and everyone was wondering how he could get his own granddaughter's name wrong. Then, during what was supposed to be our first dance, my grandmother took that opportunity to yell at me about not having my daughters down at the reception yet. They were upstairs in the nursery with a trained childcare worker. In short, my family made me miserable. But, we got through our wedding and had a nice honeymoon. My Mom and Dad (though they have been divorced since I was 4) took care of my daughters together while John and I got to enjoy a few days alone together.
The other day, I talked to my father and he told me all about how my mother trash talked everyone (including me). Then, he told me that she called my ex-husband up and told him that my father was there. My ex doesn't like my father, because my dad's an old hippie. So, THAT'S why my ex called me up shortly after my honeymoon was over to bitch at me about how I shouldn't allow our daughters around "your father's kind." Why would my mother do that? Why did my family seemingly set out to make what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life a miserable day. There's even some speculation amongst guests that someone in my family was responsible for half of the boutenieres and corsages (that I made myself by hand) going missing from the church fridge.
I thought family was supposed to be there for you, but my family keeps proving over and over again that they just want to control me for their own gains. Yet, I still keep forgiving them and putting up with their...well, frankly...abusive behavior. I'm a little sickened by my lack of defiance against the group of people that continue to try to bring me down every time I make a step up.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
They'll still be your family after all of it.
I think you should try and take a step away from them for a while.