My back hurts still. I wonder if it's from my new bed. It hurts in the same spot. 
I am feeling very lonely and angry today.
I had a great time yesterday. Everything about it was sweet. I went to boardman with my buddy rach, and we went to the new coldstone(ice cream), and to the mall to go into kirkland's, and then to the skating rink. At the rink we saw a woman with a "Gidunkadunk" lol., which is what you call a part of someone's ass if it sticks out like a lil shelf. HAHA! I had an awesome time. I wish I had more people to hang out with who want to do stuff besides going out drinking all the time. I wish I had more people to hang out with who like being active and doing fun things. I'm such a kid at heart, but finding anyone else who is, is very hard.
I went to work today, and busted my ass for seven and a half hours without taking a break so I could leave early. I had no reason to leave early. I hate thinking about how things were and how they are now. I mean I know they could be so much worse...but for the first time in my life I am standing completely on my own and feel really alone. Now I am at my sister's house, and soon I'll be going home to sleep because I have to get up in the morning to open the store.
My buddy Jessica invited me to come over her house tomorrow night. I used to work with her when I worked at deb, and she is really nice and we rarely hang out so I'll probably go.
I hope that something happens sometime very soon so I don't feel so empty, and alone all the time.
I heard from one of my friends/aquaintences that my ex was spotted at eat n' park one day last week. My friend was out to eat for her b-day, and she saw him sitting in a booth with some girl who looked like a man. They were sitting on the same side of the booth, and he had his arm around her and looked annoyed? Probably because she wasn't gonna give it up to him in his car! I am so fucking bitter. I don't want him back...not at all I just wish I had someone to talk to about things, and to confide in. I really miss that...I used to have multiple people to confide in, but I fucked it up pretty bad.
I feel really angry, and alone, and empty. I'm so numb to everything...I rarely feel any emotion at all. I'm starting to wonder if there is any emotional bone left in my body? I don't feel nothing but numb and hallow.
I am feeling very lonely and angry today.
I had a great time yesterday. Everything about it was sweet. I went to boardman with my buddy rach, and we went to the new coldstone(ice cream), and to the mall to go into kirkland's, and then to the skating rink. At the rink we saw a woman with a "Gidunkadunk" lol., which is what you call a part of someone's ass if it sticks out like a lil shelf. HAHA! I had an awesome time. I wish I had more people to hang out with who want to do stuff besides going out drinking all the time. I wish I had more people to hang out with who like being active and doing fun things. I'm such a kid at heart, but finding anyone else who is, is very hard.
I went to work today, and busted my ass for seven and a half hours without taking a break so I could leave early. I had no reason to leave early. I hate thinking about how things were and how they are now. I mean I know they could be so much worse...but for the first time in my life I am standing completely on my own and feel really alone. Now I am at my sister's house, and soon I'll be going home to sleep because I have to get up in the morning to open the store.
My buddy Jessica invited me to come over her house tomorrow night. I used to work with her when I worked at deb, and she is really nice and we rarely hang out so I'll probably go.
I hope that something happens sometime very soon so I don't feel so empty, and alone all the time.
I heard from one of my friends/aquaintences that my ex was spotted at eat n' park one day last week. My friend was out to eat for her b-day, and she saw him sitting in a booth with some girl who looked like a man. They were sitting on the same side of the booth, and he had his arm around her and looked annoyed? Probably because she wasn't gonna give it up to him in his car! I am so fucking bitter. I don't want him back...not at all I just wish I had someone to talk to about things, and to confide in. I really miss that...I used to have multiple people to confide in, but I fucked it up pretty bad.
I feel really angry, and alone, and empty. I'm so numb to everything...I rarely feel any emotion at all. I'm starting to wonder if there is any emotional bone left in my body? I don't feel nothing but numb and hallow.
Iv never had anyone to confide in so I always just did art or wrote it down or most of the time I would just keep it stuffed up in side me. I wish I had some one to confide in to even if it was just some one on the Internet but I dont know if I could I would always feel bad that I was making them fell bad.
Im a really good listener if you wont to send me an email and tell me what is bothering you. I had one of my sg friends send me an email today and told me all this personal stuff and she told me that she didnt wont to post this stuff for every one to read but she trusted me because I have been a good listener, that made me feel so good it makes me feel like im making true new friends on sg.
Iv been in the numb place before I didnt cry for more then 3 years it might have even been longer then 4 im not for sure, un tell this summer when I cried all day one day and when I say all day I mean all day and I cried some for the next four days two. So I was just trying to say that I dont think you will ever be as numb as I was and finale I broke down so no mater how numb you get something will happen and all the emotion will come back to you.
Well im sorry for putting such a long comment in your journal but it kind of just poured out of me. I hope you have a great day.