i am having a really bad morning.

last night we went out for drinks and i saw these guys that i know. well don wanted to go home so i stopped by where they were sitting to say bye and he was waiting for me outside. i stood there with them for maybe 5 minutes. i go outside and he is gone. i am all alone. i called him and he comes back to get me. he actually left me there after sending me a text(which i didnt even see until i got outside) because i was taking too long. so we got back to my house and he stayed over. i made him leave at 6 and made him leave his keys. he threw them on the counter and just left. i tried to call him a few times and sent him a few texts but no answer. so idk i guess maybe i'll hear from him maybe i wont. i'm not quite sure the status of our relationship today

but what upsets me the most is i cant figure out why some one would do that. i cant figure out why anyone i've dated has done the things that they do. i cant understand why i dont ever get back what i give out. i have been crying all morning. i dont know if its because of don or just everything in general. i'm tired of beig told that he loves ma and wants to be with me blah blah blah. i mean maybe its not that big of a deal to do that? ut thats not how i feel. i feel like it was so mean. i know that he was wrong to do it and still wrong to act the way he is. but whats worse is that he would just rather not answer. like its all my fault. whats even better is that he leaves me waiting for him constantly. and for hours sometimes. and i wasnt even worth a 10 minute wait. our relationship together wasnt worth 10 minutes of his time. because i was talking to guys. because he was jealous of me having conversation with VISIBLY platonic male acquaintances. i am just so upset. and i know i dont want to date some one who would do that to me but i cant even believe that he actually did. and that we might never speak again over it.

i hate that feeling of when things are over and all of a sudden you arent supposed to know some one anymore. your supposed to act like it doesnt bother you to hear there name or see them with another person. i dont do that part very well. but from the way he looked this morning i can tell he is very good at that part. and that is making me really upset right now.

i am not ok today