rebel84

when doc joined this website i didnt like it. he lied about it and had girls calling him all the time and i was uncomfortable. maybe it was the hiding of it i didnt like. idk. i am not a super jealous person but i expect absolute truth in every relationship. we fought about it for a week. he needed space over it and it was basically i had to deal with it or leave. out of love i chose to deal with it. i even joined to make it something that we could have together. to better understand why he liked it so much. so i've been on it for a while and i have met some really nice people. but now i find out all the fears that i had a yr ago are justified. the lines in our relationship have been blurred and there have been lies. my heart is broken today. i didnt actually want to be right. i've tried my best to be outgoing and try something i wasnt used to for a man. one who didnt appreciate it. i am tired of being taken advantage of. i am better than how i have been treated and i deserve more. i dont know what to do. i am tired of my life and of the people in it. and i feel like i have no one. my life was really screwed up bfore but i felt like i could deal with it cuz i had my love. now i have no one and i am a fool. i invested too much in some one else and it left me alone. or at least i feel that way. i am lost. and i feel defeated.