rebel84

so my internet is jacked up right now which is way i have been not on among other things. i haven't really spoken to dan since all the shit went down on sunday. its too hard for me. i don't know how i feel right now about anything. i know its not fair to push it to the side but i don't know what to say. there is so much stuff goin on with me that its like i can't focus on it right now. i think if i have to deal with that too that i'll just lose it i really will.

i wish none of this ever happened. i'm sad. but i need to fix my life and the relationships with my family. thats so important to me. i just feel lost. i don't want to be without the person that i love but its too hard right now. i can't fix what happened. i don't know if i ever will be able to fix what happened.

i just don't understand why these things just can't go smoothly for us. why we have to have these problems. i don't get what i've done wrong.i feel like a good person but i feel like bad things happen to me.

i miss him. i'm so confused. i really have no clue what to do.