I hate having feelings.
You see, the problem is that feelings are, pretty much by definition, irrational. And, even more irrationally, the feelings in question are over a person that, for all intents and purposes, doesn't really exist.
I suppose I should back up a bit and explain. All of you people reading this (yes, all, uh, three of you) don't really exist, or at least not to me. That's fine, though, because I don't exist to you either; that's the nature of the 'Net. We all have the potential to exist to each other, of course, and some of us already do. There only barrier is distance, I suppose, but even that can be overcome given the will to do so. All sort of problems exist even if you do arrange a meeting.. but I'm going to assume that we are all savvy enough to figure those out. Heh.
So anyway, my problem stems from the fact that I've developed a crush. Online. A crush! Me! I'm 25 freakin' years old! Am I that braindead? Online people tend to be balding 40ish guys that you'd see lurking around high schools in vans! Well, that's a bit extreme, maybe, but still! You see the problem I'm having here, yes?
Now the simple solution would be to turn off said feelings. That's usually easy enough.. I've succeeded at doing that more often than not. Unfortunately, it's complicated by the fact that I've been alone so damn long, and the more I try to push it away with reason and rationality, the more it makes me, well, unreasonable and irrational. Which, frankly, sucks.
I have to exercise will. Discipline. Control.
I feel so cold...
- RC
You see, the problem is that feelings are, pretty much by definition, irrational. And, even more irrationally, the feelings in question are over a person that, for all intents and purposes, doesn't really exist.
I suppose I should back up a bit and explain. All of you people reading this (yes, all, uh, three of you) don't really exist, or at least not to me. That's fine, though, because I don't exist to you either; that's the nature of the 'Net. We all have the potential to exist to each other, of course, and some of us already do. There only barrier is distance, I suppose, but even that can be overcome given the will to do so. All sort of problems exist even if you do arrange a meeting.. but I'm going to assume that we are all savvy enough to figure those out. Heh.
So anyway, my problem stems from the fact that I've developed a crush. Online. A crush! Me! I'm 25 freakin' years old! Am I that braindead? Online people tend to be balding 40ish guys that you'd see lurking around high schools in vans! Well, that's a bit extreme, maybe, but still! You see the problem I'm having here, yes?
Now the simple solution would be to turn off said feelings. That's usually easy enough.. I've succeeded at doing that more often than not. Unfortunately, it's complicated by the fact that I've been alone so damn long, and the more I try to push it away with reason and rationality, the more it makes me, well, unreasonable and irrational. Which, frankly, sucks.
I have to exercise will. Discipline. Control.
I feel so cold...
- RC
violently:
love is for suckers. i suggest drinking. heavily. if nothing else, at least you'll forget you had a crush on someone in the first place.