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raygunray

Member Since 2003

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Monday Jan 26, 2004

Jan 26, 2004
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I got a good look at my new pad. If Bob Villa inspected it, he would have a nervous breakdown. It looks like some of the cabinets were built out of pieces of wood found on roadsides or cannibalized from pallets ripped off from Winn Dixie. Some pieces weren't even nailed down.

There is a dimmer switch that turns off the hallway light, but turns off the kitchen light. The old couple that used to live there installed a two sink cabinet. But one of the sinks is in front of the toiltet bowl so you can do two things at once; Shit and shave at the same time. Not a bad idea, actually. Two of the drawers can't be opened all the way because it's blocked by the toilet.

I think these people learned carpentry from those Time/Life how-2 books. The old woman had some kind of compuslive disorder and had about twenty potted plants around the back. I didn't know what kind they were or how I am going to get rid of them, so I just watered them to keep them alive.

They left two eggs and a diet Coke in the fridge. How nice of them to leave me breakfast.

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