More funny quotes:
I'll believe that Christina Aguilera lost her virginity on her wedding night before I believe that Tiger Woods drives a Buick Lacrosse."
"Forget about Geena Davis as the first female president -- what about Angelina Jolie? What man can resist Angelina? If she could pry Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Aniston, you're telling me she couldn't turn on the charms with Kim Jong-il and convince him to give up his nukes in less than three hours? She's getting my vote in 2008. "
"For everyone who thinks I have the easiest job on the planet: Have you watched Vanna White on "Wheel of Fortune" lately? She doesn't even have to turn the letters around anymore -- they light up, she walks over and touches them, and that's it. You could train a chimp to do this. And I have an easy job?"
"Few things are certain in life, but this is one of them: "Chico and the Man" had the greatest TV sitcom theme of all-time. "
"And finally, I have a new favorite TV show: "Taradise." It's like the E! executives were sitting around one day and one of them said, "Hey, what if we pretended to hire Tara Reid for the 'Wild On' series, only it will be an excuse for our cameras to follow her around as she gets plastered in foreign countries and makes a complete fool of herself week after week?"
Somehow that's exactly what ends up happening. For instance, in this week's show, Tara went parasailing in Greece with Paris Hilton, somehow avoided a Brutus the Barber Beefcake-type accident, proceeded to chow down at dinner like a Shetland pony, then went out dancing (if you could call lurching around like a marlin "dancing"), threw herself at some horrified Greek guys, stuck her tongue out a lot, stumbled around and repeatedly screamed, "This is awesome!" and looked more bloated than Val Kilmer at the end of "The Doors." That was the whole show. It's like watching disturbing home videos of someone right before her friends had an intervention for her ... only there's no intervention. The show just keeps going.
To recap: Phenomenal idea, phenomenal title, a once-in-a-generation star at her absolute anti-apex ... and we even get to learn about other countries. Now that's a winner, my friends. Do yourself a favor and head down to "Taradise.""
I'll believe that Christina Aguilera lost her virginity on her wedding night before I believe that Tiger Woods drives a Buick Lacrosse."
"Forget about Geena Davis as the first female president -- what about Angelina Jolie? What man can resist Angelina? If she could pry Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Aniston, you're telling me she couldn't turn on the charms with Kim Jong-il and convince him to give up his nukes in less than three hours? She's getting my vote in 2008. "
"For everyone who thinks I have the easiest job on the planet: Have you watched Vanna White on "Wheel of Fortune" lately? She doesn't even have to turn the letters around anymore -- they light up, she walks over and touches them, and that's it. You could train a chimp to do this. And I have an easy job?"
"Few things are certain in life, but this is one of them: "Chico and the Man" had the greatest TV sitcom theme of all-time. "
"And finally, I have a new favorite TV show: "Taradise." It's like the E! executives were sitting around one day and one of them said, "Hey, what if we pretended to hire Tara Reid for the 'Wild On' series, only it will be an excuse for our cameras to follow her around as she gets plastered in foreign countries and makes a complete fool of herself week after week?"
Somehow that's exactly what ends up happening. For instance, in this week's show, Tara went parasailing in Greece with Paris Hilton, somehow avoided a Brutus the Barber Beefcake-type accident, proceeded to chow down at dinner like a Shetland pony, then went out dancing (if you could call lurching around like a marlin "dancing"), threw herself at some horrified Greek guys, stuck her tongue out a lot, stumbled around and repeatedly screamed, "This is awesome!" and looked more bloated than Val Kilmer at the end of "The Doors." That was the whole show. It's like watching disturbing home videos of someone right before her friends had an intervention for her ... only there's no intervention. The show just keeps going.
To recap: Phenomenal idea, phenomenal title, a once-in-a-generation star at her absolute anti-apex ... and we even get to learn about other countries. Now that's a winner, my friends. Do yourself a favor and head down to "Taradise.""
benci:
where'd you go? still here?